Gen. Wesley Clark's campaign has released an inspirational new biopic to rally the faithful and win converts to his cause. Leading the production effort was old-time Clinton crony Linda Bloodworth-Thomason, joined by the hot new talent of Peter Jackson, so we know it is good.
The story commences with The General in his youth, studying at Rivendell in the House of Elrond, and later at Oxford. He serves his country nobly in Viet Nam and along the borders of the Shire, where he protects the weak from harm.
Skipping past some tedious bits, we fast forward to a day when a great evil threatens the land. Slobodan Milosevic and Saruman unite the forces of darkness and oppression in Serbia, threatening the West, or at least Kosovo. Leading a NATO coalition of Frenchmen, Germans, Ents, and Rohirrim, Gen. Clark triumphantly defeats the foe at Helm's Deep.
But his story does not end there - the victory only hastens the day when the General must face his final foe. Or maybe here. Anyway, he must battle a Great Evil! Can The General find the strength of will to overcome this challenge? Can Isildur's Heir (and Clinton's too!) rally his unlikely alliance to triumph?
We can't wait.