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January 28, 2006


Leff T. LaRouche

Kos...what a joke! Are you sure Kos isn't funded by Rove?


Soros is Rove backwards in Evorish

Rick Ballard


Ssh! Evorish is only mentioned among those who have purchased and completed the Arley K. Evor "Acme Political Tactics to Fit the Democratic Future" course. It's never talked about except among top DNC/DLC tacticians who swear by it.

Beep! Beep!


I do think there's a wonderful satirical article to be made arguing that Rove is really Soros, Rick..Don't you? (Now he's calling for a US recession in 2007--guess he and Buffett are sick of bleeding dough on their shorts on the dollar. Well, he can try again to get Dems in office in which case there surely will be one. On the other hand I'm open to any devious scheme that leaves Soros, Buffett (and Gates) broke for beating against our country.


beTTing, not beAting against our dollar............


Sen. John F. Kerry (D-Mass.) on Thursday strongly advocated the filibuster plan -- and wrote about his choice on the Daily Kos, a Web site popular with liberals.

Wonder how many NON blog/internet junkies on either or no political side logged on for the first time, just to see what all the fuss was about?

I can't recall when major paper exposed' these sites in terms quite like this.


Bush ratings sink in latest polls? At RCP his approval rating is at 47%. As for the rest I don't put much stock in it. And we have the requisite statement repeated endlessly that his approval went down after the last 2 SOTU. I don't recall any other president{besides Nixon being hammered like this.


Because it's KKKErry the new darling of the left. Otherwise msm wouldn't be caught dead recognizing a blog even if it was daily kos.


There is a bit of a disconnect isn't there? The Dems always do so well in the heavily promoted opinion polls and lose at the November polls.


I thought it was KKKos?

Paul Zrimsek

Major insurers have begun offering discounts in the range of 10-20% to people who have been marked for doom by Kos. They're considered excellent risks.

Rick Ballard


You mean like: "Karl Rove sank back wearlily into the passenger seat of the specially modified SR-71, his thoughts turn with resignation to the two hours that he would have to spend with the makeup artist in Budapest charged with transforming his appearance into that of his fictional alter ego, George Soros. What had begun as a political lark had been transformed into a dreary task that he dreaded almost as much as he had finally come to dread his other appearances as the Bob Schrum charactor....


Rick, What a fab beginning! Let's do it..Let's detail how he underwrote the campaign for CFR, then set up the 527s etc, knowing it would take the party off the rails. Have your girl call mine and set up lunch.


Paul, that's good, too. Can we have Buffett underwriting Kos to boost his profits in Tradesports ?


In a previous life Rove used to host the Alfred Hitchkock Theater.


don't fall for the kkkate trap kiddies...most everyones read Lileks by now


Wait a minute- If Rove is shrummy that mean's as the "architect" he ran a winning and a losing presidential campaign. Now that's quite a feat!


Scaife and the Moonies. Nuff said.


He's a genius--Who else could have dreamed up a series of campaigns for rich heirs or well-married fops with the theme "I'm going to fight for you against the monied interests?" It was Rove's finest hour.

Rick Ballard

"As Rove, in his Soros guise, began the subtle manipulations that would forever tar the names of Feingold and MCCain, he chuckled quietly to himself remembering the phone call when he had shared the concept of 527's with John O'Neill. O'Neill, with his fine legal mind, had seen the opportunity much more quickly and clearly than the dim bulb trustees at the Pew Foundation."


Rove was behind the windsurfing commercial{my personal favorite} John Kerry any way the wind blows...or in today's world any way the sli slopes[Davos} or yodeling Yodaleedlodeladywho!


Oh tell me how in 1998 he got
Clinton to do the regime change
resolution. Tell me that, tell


"In Omaha, Buffett raced to the phone and placed two callsThe first to the Bob Shrum's office where he left a message,'This is Warren.We're on again. This time for Kerry. Don't worry about the money.' The second to Tradesports where he placed two wagers.The first for Kerry to win the nomination. The second for him to lose the election.

He knew he could count on Rove-Soros to take care of Media Matters and Kos.

His work for the day was done. The dye was cast."


"No, he thought. One more call. "Naomi. I'm backing Kerry. He'll need you. Here's how I see your job. Make him look manly..windsurfing, biking --lots of spandex outfits, and skiing--get him one of those daiy things for his jacket. He's going to be 'reporting for duty' so hunting, lots of hunting.And Teresa. Do not handle her. Let her be herself. Everyone will love her.I'll get back to you.'"


" Schrum, we've got to knock out Dean"said Rove, I know let's run some ads against him in Iowa and tell Harkin to whip Dean into a frenzy on caucas night. I know let's get Dean to scream; ehhhhhaww!


I was for the economy before I was against it. Yeah, there's a winner for the Dems. Can Teddy give your daughter a ride home after the party?

Rick Ballard

As Al Gore blearily eyed the near empty bottle of Old Grouse on the desk before him, his thoughts turned to that first meeting with Naomi Wolf. Tipper had seemed to like her and Schrum had been extraordinarily enthusiastic about "what she can do for your image - lighten you up a bit". Schrum was always enthusiastic but he'd been almost hyper about hiring Wolf... He decided to talk it over with Tipper, no, maybe it would be better to call Donna Brazile, or perhaps maybe just let it go... He decided that he would decide what to do tomorrow. No, dang it, he had a dentist appointment and then he had promised to pick up the laundry and there was something else... Pouring the last of the bottle into the glass in front of him, he let his mind drift....


"In the AFL-CIO headquarters plans for the elections began early. Lining up the names of all the lawfirms and p.r. outfits who'd be overpaid in order to kick back contributions to the party. Felicity Hammond, in charge of this task was bored. Same thing every four years. Bump it up 15% over the last time and cut the checks. Half way through the task she filed her nails and ordered in lunch"


Rove's fingers worried the flip cap of the cylindrical plastic bottle he had picked up that hour at Walgreens. It was almost too devious, too daring.

"He's a good man," he thought to himself, "but almost too good. He brought us the Iraq resolution, and he kept his wife out of the race this time. But we need him quiet for a while."

Slipping into his Soros mask, he paid a visit to his good friend in Chappequa.
"I got those energy vitamins I told you about!" "George" said warmly. "Take 3 or 4. They'll make your chest feel a little tight, but don't worry about that. It's just a side effect. You'll feel great as you hit the trail with Kerry tomorrow."
Bill, always eager to try the next pharmeceutical wonder, popped 6 directly in his mouth.
"George" checked off item #31 on his mental to-do list before he offered to drive Bill to the hospital.


Edwards was beside himself, shrummy had picked Kerry over him to support in the 04 election. "My message of the everyday working man is so much more powerful than Rich by marriage Kerry's and i have a daddy that worked in a mill too. Dejected he wearily dragged himself to the UNC campus and thought" If I have to give that two Americas speech one more time I'm going to hurl!


"Rove quickly mapped out the plans for Iowa on a scrap sheet of paper at Budapest's finest coffeehouse. 'Get lots of college kids to come there for Dean. Get buses from every liberal arts college around, encourage as many as possible to skip classes and come on down for the caucuses. Orange caps--thousands of orange caps and the usual--booze, grass..Get the local press to play up how invincible Dean will be.."' He passed it on to an aide who asked,'Dean? I thought you were backing Kerry?" Building up a little suspense and momentum for the trainwreck..Those kids will never be able to concentrate on the job and will irritate the locals no end. "


"Money!!! What do you mean I'm out of Money!
Teresa has tons of Money! I'm not taking any federal money, that won't be enough!
" What ?o money unless I'm personally attacked? They are calling me the King of the Flip-Flops. People are actually dressing up as a pair of Flip Flops.
" Get me Shrummy- NOW you moron!
" 2nd Mortgage on my house? How in the Hell am I going to pay that back?"
" This all looks so Sleazy!"


Schrum was furious. The poll numbers kept showing Bush on top in National Security. We need to show the American people who to trust, he vowed to himself. Someone that can underline the Democrat's strong line on the real dangers confronting the nation- Iran and North Korea.
Finally, it dawned on him, he knew just the person. Dialing her number, he cursed the fact that she was again out of the country and his cell phone charge would be astronimical. But his heart lifted as she answered.
"Bob, is that you? Ha! Caller ID works here. More proof this is a very advanced country. But anyway, how can I help you?"

"We need a foreign policy face out on the campaign trail, " Shrummy said. "You're the one with the most credibility. We need to destroy Bush on those stupid 6 party talks."
"Will Do! Sign me up! Get me on all the talkshows, and I'll bring you the gravitas" was the reply. And with that, Madeleine Allbright hung up her phone and turned back to the parade.
"Great card section," she said to her host with the bouffant hair. "Bush doesn't know what he's missing."

Rick Ballard

"Shrum looked nervously at the samll group of Diebold executives gathered around the conference table, "Look, fellas, I know your statistics guys are telling you that this doesn't make sense but you cashed that $20 million dollar check from the NEA for 'automated grading systems' and this is what I want you to do, shifting those votes in twelve counties in Ohio won't mean a damn thing overall, our figures show that Kerry's got a helluva lot more than a 200,000 vote lead. We just want the race to look a little tighter than it actually is."


How about Soros the babe magnet and
CNBC's "Money Honey"?

Keep going - love it- what talent


Shrummy took a second sip from his champagne glass and reviewed the early poll numbers; What the @#%$ is going on here?
Oh, {audible sigh of relief} you mean 2times more dems were polled - " OK you had me going there, I mean I stood to lose a fortune at Tradesports, I mean Jaysus, First Bunning, then Va. uncertain and Fla. and Ohio that was some cruel joke; Sigh, I'm getting too old for this!"


With the nomination locked up, Schrum no longer had to worry about preparing Kerry for any more of those 12 person kicklines the party laughingly called debates, where everyone but Sharpton had to pretend to be rational and no one but Leiberman achieved that goal, usually to hoots of derision by the Dean/Sharpton boosters.

Now the convention planning beckoned.

Nothing was overlooked.Put Carter in a key spot on the floor (nowhere near the mikes though) and make sure Michael Moore can sit right next to him where the cameras couldn't miss the symbolism:Whatever we say about defense, we are joking.

The big effort went to the candidate's arrival by boat accompanied by whoever knew him in Viet Nam and didn't hate his guts.
"I'm John Kerry reporting for duty!" Schrum went ape over that. It was the one contribution Kerry'd made to the plans. (Well, he'd made one more..Give Teresa all the time she wants at the center stage and mike. He had some forebodings about that, but what the hell. The rest was perfection.)


The unexpected vibration startled him momentarily. The emergency cell phone number was only available to three people, and two of them were in the room already. Therefore it could only be Jack Bauer.

"Jack, what's up?"

"Karl, can you talk?"

"Yeah, it's cool, I'm back in Texas"

"I need to reach Cheney immediately but the regular channel is out"

"No problem Jack, he's right here, but listen I need a favor while you're on the line"

"Sure Karl anything"

"Jack, do you still have that sleeper in Bin Laden's staff"

"You bet ..."

"Another threat tape would be great right about now, see if he can get one made"

"I'll see what I can do"

"Great Jack, here's Cheney"


Building up a little suspense and momentum for the trainwreck..Those kids will never be able to concentrate on the job and will irritate the locals no end. "

And yet he wasn't satisfied. Sure the college kids on buses was a great idea but his rovian mind knew there had to be more energy out there, a better way to divert some of the attention to the train wreck. Wandering around the streets of Budapest, antsy from the caffeine, he stumbled upon a tree with large roots. An old fishing net was tangled in them. It was as if a vision had come to him, even though he was not in his evangelical church. That's it, he said to himself. Net...roots.

Eureka! He turned to his aide. "Want to make this really fun? Get that military kid we've used before on the phone. Cozy or Coast or something. Tell him I've got a movement I want him to start."


Vicious Sid was not happy. Hillary! was definitely not going to run and the only job he could get was at the damned Guardian for God's sake. He'd done his best, but no soap.

But without a scheme to keep him occupied, every day seemed like a month. A Tang ad interrupted his thoguhts.
"Bingo! Get me Bill Burkett and Mary Mapes. I'm back in the game," he thought.


What? You're kidding me right? I can't believe he said No! McCain's out then Son of a---- Well then we go with the Breck Girl- you know Edwards- Gosh darn-it It would have been a lock with McCain- We could of really stuck it to Bush!"

richard mcenroe

"Oh tell me how in 1998 he got
Clinton to do the regime change
resolution. Tell me that, tell

Larwyn — Oh, come on, twenty bucks and a Tijuana hooker took care of that. One phone call.

Pretty sure Fitz has the logs.


Kerry couldn't understand the flap, and Schrum couldn't explain it because everytime he tried to explain to Kerry that "I was for it before I was against it" was a problem , Kerry launched into an hour long drone that put him to sleep and then blamed him for not getting it.
"I just lack your finely honed nuance gene," he replied sheepishly, knowing full well that in the debate if the subject came up the audience couldn't remain awake through his candidate's explanation either.
"Hey, that's a good thing he reminded himself.
Always the fighting optimist.


Jeeze RM - LOL at the senario, but don't want plotlines
want the details, the scene, that
film noir you see in head reading
the old Spillane's.


Teresa ("shove it") Heinz-um-Kerry was very testy . Having to fly her private jet with President Kerry prematurely painted on it to one dump after another attacking WalMart whose stock she'd providentially just sold, was tiring. Though it made her feel a bit better that her health and food tips (rabbit for children and raisins in gin) were getting good coverage.
Having hooked one rich guy and then bought a poor one who ran from a safe seat for life made her an expert on everything. And it was good that people realized it.


Naomi was beside herself with rage. Donna Brazille, cut out from the campaign and the cashshe'd counted on from it, was besides herself with laughter.

Kerry showed up at the campaign a bright shade of orange. "Sun," the campaign staff, assured reporters.
Thought that seemed hardly possibly. He'd been tied up in Wisconsin in a month where the sun don't shine and it was obvious someone at the spa had used too heavy a hand with the ManTan .
And calling Lambeau Field, Lambert Field right after dropping the lucky Buckeye he never travelled without (except when he had his lucky Cambodia Christmas cap) was eating into his margins in a critical state.
Luckily they had same day registration, no voter ID's and all the poll workers in Milwaukee and Racine in on the game.


John O'Neill? That pest's at it again? Find the Dick Cavett show where Kerry ate him alive. That'll be great, nobody's got old video on Kerry.


" Well I look good don't I? I mean that tanning place and that Botox really took away that sagging under my eyelids. I'm ready to kick George w's butt in the debates. I'm the best debater around, I annihilated Weld and Bush gets distracted easily. Isn't he in Florida helping hurricane victims with his popular brother. Well I'm well-rested and "W" is toast. I'm going to hand him a can of Whup-ass tonight.
Wait a minute- There not going to have lights and bells on the podium, what the----
Where's Schrummy? he's never around, you'd think he was Bush's campaign manager the way he's disappearing all the time. Gosh is that the time?
Get me make-up... Now!"


Thought that seemed hardly possibly--edit to Though that seemed hardly possible....

(It's just after midnight re the other typos)


The conservatives are looking for converts while the liberals are looking for heretics. I mean, have you caught the whole peasants with pitchforks attack on Katie Couric, Tim Russert and Chris Matthews?

BTW, let's call Kos' pronouncement against Elmendorf what it really is: a fatwa!


(Good idea, Brainster)

Back to the narrative:

It was time for MTP with Tim Russert. They spent some time on Martha's Vineyard together before plying him at the family's own island where they commisserated on how that damned planned windmill farm was going to wreck the view. Walter Cronkite had agreed to take the lead in fighting it, the Kennedys and Kerrys believing some small minded folks would claim they were being hypocritical in fighting it after thumping the drums so long for alternative energy. And , yeah, that private plane and "family's" SUV's were a little embarrassing, but hell, people have to know we aren't talking about people like us. Christ Norman Lear has a 26 car garage in Malibu.

Anyway, they agreed, Russert would mention the military records and Kerry would promise to deliver them. That would be that. Problem over.

Rick Ballard

Karl 'Soros' looked at the phone with an expression of disgust. The thought of the whining bray of a voice from the little twerp he thought of as 'Mowlett's Ass' always drove him near to nausea. He wished he could delegate this to Bing or Lewis but it was a pretty bold move and they had been giving him some rather odd looks lately. Using 'Mowlett's Ass' to put five moderate Dem seats in play by getting Kerry and The Harridan (as he thought of her) to threaten a filibuster over a vanilla appointment was a decent idea and 'Mowlett's Ass' was as dumb as a rock garden but surely somebody was going to catch on. Then he thought of Dean in the drivers seat at the DNC, smiled and picked the phone. The first ring hadn't even completed when "Hi George" came squealing back to him on the dedicated line.

"Hi Mark, listen...."


As soon as he hung up Karl mobilized the troops. First he called Pinch.

"An editorial. We need an editorial demanding the Dems show some spine and filibuster Alito. Drag out the stuff we used on Bork and Souter..You know babies will starve, women will die..the usual. (Lots of full page ads coming your way baby.Thanks.)"

His staff needed no suggestions. Before he got off the phone with Pinch, they'd posted please on DU and Kos demanding all Dems fax, email and call every Dem to insist they get some spine.Full lists of contact information were added to make it easy. And people were encouraged to report back.

Even Senator Setevens and some Reps who hadn't said they were committed were there.

Drinks were passed and chips. "Imagine thousands of calls round the clock from these moonbats," they laughed as they clicnked glasses.


What? O'Neill's got a book, too? Let's just put a little heat on a couple of book chains and some of those small market media getting a little too big for their britches. They'll run like gazelles.


" I feel like a school boy sent to the woodshed. How'd I get thumped in that debate with Cheney? I got great hair, a million dollar smile and Elizabeth says on the stump I'm downright charismatic! My kids are cuter than his kids,I just don't get it. He's seen me in the senate-that was a cheap shot saying he didn't know me. Why everyone knows me I was was running for presidenttoo-I didn't win any primaries,cept my home state but I was in there and would have had a real chance in Oklahoma but Clark messed up my mojo. And then there was Lieberman with his JO-mentum, I mean what the hell was that? Then jokester Dean well the powers that be trimmed his sails and cut him down to size. Yup Dean had to take one for the team and I had to settle for V.P., standing there grinning like a fool next Lurch my nickname for Kerry and put up with his wacky wife trying to reprimand my children. God when will this long nightmare be over? And I like a fool decided not to run for re-election. I should have kept my seat like Lieberman as an insurance policy. Oh well time to face the press- god I hate those vultures analysing me to death.


Madeline Albright, fresh from her jaunt to N Korea, zipped into her parking space at the Senate Office building. She pulled off her brooch and her padded chest, rearranged her thinning hair, and became her alter-ego, Senator Carl Levin.
Heading off with his black pen and scissors to redact the Barrett report, he realized what the American people really wanted was more openness about government. He had the perfect plan: A hearing on the secret spying he had told his friend Risen about. But he couldn't look connected.
He called his fellow Michigander.
"Conyers," he said, "I need another one of your hearings. I'll reserve you a basement room. We're bringing the government back to the people!".
As he stuffed page 67 of the Barrett report in his pants, he wished he had borrowed those socks Sandy Berger had been braging to him about.
He redonned his Albright breasts, and headed to a party at the Iranian embassy.


Evan Thomas and the gang at Newsweek were gleeful. Time had long bragged that they had the power to make any dolt they wanted President and proved it when after highlighting a peanut farmer named Jimmy Carter as the Second Coming they got him elected President.
Now it was Nesweek's turn. We can get him 15 points.

The first cover was ready..Kerry and Edwards looked like youthful, vibrant, although maybe they were sitting a bit too close and they had to work to keepKerry fromm stroling Edward's hair.

"Silky pony" Ann Coulter, said, but Evans remained confident. "We're going to put him over the top."


Felicity Hammond was reading one of those bodice rippers she loved to read while she waited out the clock. She got the job through her Uncle, head of the St Louis AFSME and while she knew she'd never be fired, she didn't like to put in less than 2 hours a day. If she waited around longer someone would come in with another get out the union vote scheme and she'd have to pretend it might work.

Luckily this year the AFL-CIO had outsourced this to some Soros thingy so she wouldn't have to be bothered too often. She knew reports that the registering was being done by crack dealers and the papers were full of stories of people registering the entire phone book and disney cartoon cast, but, hey, not her problem..


Terry McAuliffe was excited,his campaign entitled Favorite Son was ready to roll. It had been a tough call NYT vs. CBS News And the Bush family nemesis Rather. They finally had the goods on Bush's National Guard service. They were going to expose him completely. Lockhart had told him and Kerry that some guy from Texas named Burkett had the goods on "W" Authentic documents and Mary Mapes was all over it.
He couldn't wait to hit the talk shows and expose Bush to the world. Showtime!


In the Kerry brain trust, Berger was considered the true genius, but Clarke and Beers were close behind. They'd devised the International Test. It meant we couldn't move without Germany and France's okay, but it sounded great and everyone knew the UN was the only institution with the guts and integrity to manage crises.

And they'd lured Joe Wilson over to their side to prove Bush Lied.And all,/a> the press just loved him.

Nothing better showed the brilliance of the brain trust, though, than the contention that it was okay for Bush to go to Afghanistan but he should have kept the troops there, not moved to Iraq. After all, how else to create a quagmire where there was none. "Think about it," Beers said. "How else can you be assured the Afghans will think we are occupying them and rise up, encourage every jihadi in the world to flock there to kill our men, and, at the same time destroy our military advantage. Have tens of thousands of soldiers marching around every stream and valley so that any nutter with a hundred year old carbine can pick off our troops.Why use the technology we paid for to give us an advantage? That would be so un-fa-ir."
Kerry loved it. Right about reporting for duty, the Interantional test was his fav theme.



" Well all the polls say I won the debate. I should be happy now right? How come I didn't get a big bump in the polls? I bet it was that international test comment. When Bush said He didn't need a permission slip to fight the war on terror and our enemies the audience seemed to like that. Well I am flummoxed! I thought that U.N. blather was a sure winner. I hated when Bush named all those coalition partners. I looked foolish then and I don't like to be put on the defensive. I mangled that abortion question too, well maybe nobody noticed.


Really, you just can't make this stuff up, because lets face it, no matter how hard we try, truth is stranger than fiction


Well, I think some of the attempts were great--kudos to Rick and Boris!! TS--I loved this at your cite:

Senators are freaking out! They've all turned off their DC phones and their voicemails are full. Let's try their state offices (details coming) and get ready to start calling DC again at 9:00 a.m. on Monday! In the meantime try their local offices and fax lines using this page.

I've been peeking at DU and it is a stitch..Combine that and the war on Matthews et al. and it is apparent that they are alienating those they need to keep on their side.

Now, if Sheehan will only run against DiFi! Let's write her and urge her on.


"Dahling, you were vonderfull tonight. Such a powerfull debater, my little soldier boy!" Theraza rasped huskily in his ear. "Mommy wants a little spanky-spank as soon as we get back to the penthouse." Kerry supressed an involuntary shudder. The scent of gin soaked raisins was overpowering and vaguely nauseating. "The money! Keep your eyes on the money," he reminded himself. He had worked too hard, spanky-spanked too many times to lose his focus this late in the game. All he needed was the presidency, and he would finally be free. "God, I can't wait of Vince Foster your ass" the thought as he gave Theraza his patented vapid grin, and murmered "I know, I know schmooptie, but first I have to have a little campaign thingy with Shrum. Just a couple of minutes. You start without me!"

He slumped in his chair and did a double take as he looked across the table. " Jesus," he thought, "in this light didn't Shrummy look the spitting image of Karl Rove?" "The stress is getting to me," he murmered as he spritzed himself with a pocket Avian atomizer. "Must keep my focus! One debate down; two more to go. I must have the Presidency... the interns, remember the interns!" A sly smile crept across his face as he remembered the good times he and Bill had shared in the Oval Office with the daughters of the liberal and well connected. It was the last time he felt truly alive.


"John,"Schrum said, not moving from the other end of the table(fearful that his makeup was rubbing off and the gig would be up),"we have only one more debate to go."

"You did well, but the next one will involve shorter questions and answers, so you have to be crispy.Sheiffer passed them to me..For the first five you have a plan--get that? And when he gets to gay marriage don't forget to throw in that Cheney's daughter's thing we talked about."

"It's smarmy. I like that,"said John.
"You're sure there not going to ask me to describe my plans?"


"Good thing.""Well, he said wearly, reaching to shake Schrum's hand,"I've got to get home and report for duty. Again."

Shrum-Rove felt a twinge of pity , but as he watched Kerry rose, it quickly passed. "S.O.B. deserves misery,"he thought smiling.


oops... Typos!! Above post should read:

"God, I can't wait to Vince Foster your ass," he thought as he gave Thereza his patented vapid grin...


Clarice...I loved the Kennedy bit on the press being successful in alerting the public that Dems are obstructionist, so logic goes ...what to do? OBSTRUCT!

Also, this brought a tear to my eye, apparently Cindy Sheehan is still considering a run against Feinstein. Hey CA, we just might get a GOP Senator after all (slim, but still)

I'm sorry, you guys did a good but this just keeps getting better.

Just a thought, now that Kerry forced a Filibuster vote out of, and the whole thing is already hell in a hand-basket (either way filibuster or not, it's hell in a hand basket...editorial all over coming out slamming the Dems) what exactly has Kerry accomplished? IINM, Hillary gets bragging rights, no? Help me here.


"Vendy's? Are you crazy? Vhat kinda' dump restaurant you want me to go into? Here I'm almost First Lady and you takin' me to a @#*in' Vendi's?
"But Teresa mon cherie", pleaded Kerry, "Schrum says this is it, this'll put us over the top. All the networks will be standing outside Wendy's with the cameras rolling. All you have to do is walk out of that place with a big smile on your face, and Red State America is instantly going to fall in love with my little billionairess."
Terri barked at the Butler to get her some Scotch and an aspirin, cursed beneath her breath a moment, then angrily turned back to Kerry and wagged her finger directly in his face. "Okay", she spat at him, "for to be President, this once, I'll do it. But I not eatin' nothin' dat got dat god-awful sauce Ketchup on it. Understand?"
Kerry let out a silent sigh of relief and nodded his head. "Schrum say's the chili is excellent."


As Kerry strolled down the long marble hallway to the awaiting limo, his spirits lifted. Hadn't he "kicked some ass" tonight, just as the long ago Bush 41 had once proclaimed? Wasn't it all turning around? Weren't ALL the polls in his camp? And the press... well, what more could they do without arousing suspicion? He was riding the tide of history. And besides, out there, just out of sight... Kerry bust into a half-supressed laugh at the thought... the super-duper, triple XXX, top secret TANG story was about to burst. Just a question of when. Now? After the last debate? He was a bit peeved. All those meetings with Rather, Mapes and the whole gang at CBS, and he STILL didn't know when it was going to happen. Dan kept insisting that the decision should be left up to CBS. "Keep the Kerry Campaign's hand's as clean as possible," he had said. But could they trust that old fool to do it right? Kerry shook off his doubts, closed his eyes and imagined himself snowboarding down the monster runs at Aspen. Ah!'s going to be good to be King.

He lifted his eyes to the awaiting limo, and suddenly his step faltered. There, in the dark recesses of the plush interior, lay the unmistakable outline of the future First Lady. "She didn't go back to the Hotel!" he hissed, as he fished around frantically in his breast pocket for the last of his Viagra.

He always felt that he deserved to receive a medal for what he was about to do. Wasn't it for the good of the country? A Purple Heart was nothing compared to all these years of sacrifice. He'd gladly shoot himself in the butt again, but he knew that it would do him no good. Theraza was a far more merciless taskmaster than the Army.

He comforted himself remembering that Bill had walked this same path before he had become President. Nobody said it was easy. Great deeds require sacrifice. Whenever Kerry felt a pang of conscience about what they were preparing to do to GWB and the nation, he remembered moments like this. Oh yeah... he deserved to be President. He EARNED it.

Beto Ochoa

The desert air cooled quickly as the sun sank behind El Paso. "I should have brought a jacket." grumbled the short man. The taller man got down off the backhoe and moved quickly to the back of the Suburban. "Shutup!" he barked "Help me with the package." The two men pulled the bodybag from the back of the SUV and tossed it into the hole. Then they threw in the half dozen new car batteries and a small time bomb. The tall man returned to the backhoe and expertly filled the hole. After the backhoe was loaded on the trailer and they drove quietly away there was a distinct thump where they had been digging. The tall man smiled and said "Call Shrum and tell him Ms. Ramirez has gone to Mexico."


Certain that Libby was the key to unraveling the Rove/Shrumm/Soros multiple personality conspiracy, fitz was tasked to get the goods. When Libby was questioned regarding Rove's persona as Soros, he answered with a silly grin on his face 'I heard that too'.

Fitz sighed and called the next witness, a plump happy-faced individual in sun glasses. 'Name, please' queried the stenographer. 'Plame. Valery Plame' responded the witness, while nodding to the gape-mouthed grand jury. Whispers of 'looks familiar to me--don't you see the resemblance too?' wafted through the darkened room.

'Quiet!' admonished fitz. 'Do you swear to tell the truth?'. 'I do' responded Plame, with chubby fingers and beady-eyes crossed. 'Do you know the person known as Karl Rove?' 'In the biblical sense?' Giggles from the jury.

'Quiet!' admonished fitz.

'Is it true that on the night of February 3, 2002 you attended a meeting with Rove and Shrumm and Soros? And what was the meeting about?'

'Yes, it is true. I was by myself in the garden picking daisies when I hatched the plot to discredit my husband. I told myself this was the only way to be rid of the loudmouthed idiot. I showed myself the classified forged documents and convinced myself I knew how to use them.'

'Did you tell anyone else about your plans?'

'Yes, I told myself'.

Fitz sighed again and dismissed the witness.


Those Daou comments are hysterical. His analysis is as "reality-based" as a typical Soviet 5-year plan.

Any strategy based on attacking the media's "tireless weaving of pro-GOP narratives" and notion that Norah O'Donnell and Wolf Blitzer are "GOP shills" is doomed to failure.

That guy can't possibly believe this crap. Either he is insane, or he is pandering to the socially-constructed reality community.

Ed Poinsett

Shrummy wistfully, "oh for the days when we could win with a 42% plurality"


" Just a few more days of this fat suit,thoughtRove/Schrummy and victory will be mine! He chuckled softly to himself, that Rather apology was a hoot! Can you believe that moron remained in denial for 8 days. CBS execs are going to string him up by his bootstraps! Hello early retirement! We can't fire him,next to Cronkite he's the nearest thing we have to a legend. What a friggin disaster, those dems can't get anything right. Instead of bashing Dubya they're trashing Rather. Schrum smiled mischeviously," This couldn't have worked better if I had planned it myself.


Dean on This Week trying to spin the Abramoff scandal. I think he just stepped in it.


Good/bad news mr Rovesoros,the photographer has just called Teresa is insisting on keeping to the not touching arrangement in the pre-nuptial.


Back at the White House, propped up in bed, he switched off the TV just as John Murtha's State of the Union rebuttal ended. Gazing over at the mask on the nightstand, the President switched off the light and sighed with deep satisfaction.

"Come to bed, Laura."


What a cutie! But, I don't know; my finance directer looks at her the same way he looks at money.


Mark Steyn has a great piece today and Chris Wallace has just debunked Dean on "no democrats intervened with tribes and were paid by Abramoff" Can you say Harry Reid anyone?


Rove's finest hour - getting ObL (according to Walter Cronkete) to make a tape with all the Democratic talking points on the eve of the '04 election. Transcript here:

(Ring . . . . . . Ring . . . . . . Ring . . .)

Voice 1: Hello?

Voice 2: Yes, hello. May I speak to Osama, please?

ObL: Speaking. How may I help you?

Rove: Hey, Osama! It’s Karl . . . Karl Rove!

ObL: Hey Karl. What’s up?

Rove: Aw, pretty busy here, as you might imagine. Got a tight race goin’ on right now. You may have heard.

ObL: Yes, it seems to be going right down to the wire, for sure.

Rove: So, what’s up with you these days?

ObL: Oh, same ol’ same ol’. Working to destroy the Great Satan. Making plans to have the streets of your cities run red with rivers of infidel blood. The usual.

Rove: Yeah, I hear ya. Hey, gettin’ back to our election race over here. Would you consider doing us a big favor?

ObL: I suppose so. What is it?

Rove: Would you mind doing a video tape for us? And maybe release it, oh, right before the election?

ObL: Sure, Karl. What do you want me to put in it?

Rove: Well, you know. Put in all the Democratic talking points. Make references to Fahrenheit 9/11. Put in a bunch of Michael Moore stuff. That sort of thing. Think you could do that for us?

ObL: Yes, we could do that. Just one problem, though.

Rove: What’s that?

ObL: Your airstrikes the other day. They took out our last remaining video camera.

Rove: You don’t say?!! Wow - came pretty close to gettin’ you with one of those, did we? Well, whaddya know! . . . . . . Say, uh, . . . which . . . uh . . . airstrike was it? If you don’t mind me asking.

ObL: Well . . . I don’t really want to comment on that one, Karl. But we are without a video camera now.

Rove: Hey, that’s no problem. I can have my people send you a replacement right away. Which, uh, cave should we deliver it to?

ObL: Oh . . . you don’t need to worry about that. I’ll just have a courier pick it up.

Rove: Well . . . OK. Sure. Your call. Just, well, you know . . . . wanted to save you some trouble there.

ObL: Right. So - when can you get that camera to us?

Rove: How’s close of business tomorrow sound? Think you can turn around a video by the end of October if we do that?

ObL: Of course. Consider it done. Anything else we can do for you?

Rove: Naw, that should do it. We’d really be grateful.

ObL: No problem.

Rove: Thanks! Please pass on my regards to your wives.

ObL: Same here – best to the missus.

Rove: I’ll pass that on to her. Take care now!

ObL: Bye.



Hey Boss, we need an event right before the convention that we can twist into Republican disinformation. Let's turn Berger loose to fly by the seat of his pants on this one. He can give a boost to some national securiy issues.

Charlie (Colorado)

"The dye was cast."

I can't decide if that's a typo, or if you're just being colorful.


This is the most entertaining thread I have ever read. I loved it. Great work...

...the best part...

...I could almost believe it happened that way. ::grin::

Rick Ballard


Dye casting came in on another recent thread. I chased it accross the Rubicon then, and now, well, alea jacta est, and we must live with the consequence.

On to Rome!


Heh. Funny thread guys.

Seriously though, can someone tell me what the core values of the Democratic party are nowadays?

It boils down to how much national candidates should compromise on what are considered core Democratic values -- such as abortion rights, gun control and opposition to conservative judges -- to win national elections.

Those are issue positions - not core values - and as it happens they are issue positions opposed by a majority of voters.

WTF are the core values of the Dem party nowadays? I honestly don't know, besides anything Bush is pro they are anti.

Cecil Turner

Those Daou comments are hysterical.

I can't decide what's funnier, the comments or the Daou update. Here's one of the better bits from the latter:

Dems, with the help of the netroots and honest media figures, would have prepared the public by making Alito's demeanor an issue using 'question of the day' framing, as in: "Are you troubled by the gap between Alito's radical views and his matter-of-fact attitude?" or something along those lines.
Oh yeah, that's going to work. "He's not really reasonable . . . he just sounds reasonable. All us Kossacks are really reasonable." [Note to Daou: no matter how good the ad campaign, the Edsel is not going to become a best-seller.]

And luckily, I was done with my coffee before reading this thread.


Gallia est divisa en ... et tu Brute?
Are we still boycotting France?


(Isn't this fun? Kate that entire piece brought tears to my eyes.Unfortunately good as the stuff on this thread is, we still can't match how crazy he left is. Carry on..Rick cast the dye and that colors the discussion.)


Gun control is definitely not an issue because they showed Kerry supposedly duck-hunting in Ohio for the last campaign and they definitely fear the power of the NRA if its directed at them.


The Left is hysterical and in a recent expression I heard: OFF THE HOOK!


Do you suppose Rove-Soros-Schrum has taken on yet a fourth persona, Daou? God, he's a genius , but he must be exhausted.


My favorite Daou comment: "the media can make the news and the media can squelch it." You can't make this stuff up!


"Seriously though, can someone tell me what the core values of the Democratic party are nowadays?"

We must win at any cost!

richard mcenroe

Face it folks, the Democrats are reduced to praying for a nuclear test in Iran and a major recession back home here... hopefully in the same week.


Karl tapped his fingers on the neat desk in his office."How to get a solid majority in the Senate in 2006?"
It didn't take him long.

Putting on his thick Hungarian accent and pulling out his Soros phone, he dialed Larry Johnson.

"Listen Larry.Jay ,Carl and Nancy know of the President's secret NSA program. Ve haff to get them to talk to Risen about it. He'll run with it. I'll giff money to you, get somevun in NSA to talk to him, too..Have the guy say you sent him. I know how much credibility you haff wit him. Don't vorry I'll sent more money to VIPs this afternoon for your trouble in dis."

Hanging up, he sent a check to the ACLU.They'd soon be needing it for some other frivolous lawsuit, but one he knew would seal victory for him in 2006.


I think that should be, "...All us Kossacks are really effing reasonable."

Cecil Turner

Yeah, where was my head? And you gotta like the new Kos diarists: Kerry and Kennedy. The best argument against the Rove mind beams thing is that you couldn't make this stuff up.


Maybe we ought to copyright this thread and sell it to Colbert.(I'd say SNL but they haven't been this cleaver for at least 20 years.)


Maybe we ought to copyright this thread and sell it to Colbert.(I'd say SNL but they haven't been this clever for at least 20 years.)

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