There is a possibility that Barack Obama, know affectionately in some circles as the JEF, or Jug-Eared, uhh, Flop, is a bit sensitive about his cranial protuberances. Since Obama is laughably thin-skinned, commenter bgates has suggested the following speech for Romney:
Many of us were concerned about the idea of taking a man with no executive experience, a first-term Senator still wet behind the ears, and handing him the Presidency, especially given that anyone who went beyond the careful campaign speeches to hear how Barack Obama talked to the Left would get more than an earful of tired extremist left-wing notions that had never worked elsewhere and had always been rejected by the American people. Now those ideas have been tried here, and the result? Unemployment is up, confidence in the future is down, and we’re up to our ears in debt.”
“And what does Obama propose to do about it? What does he think went wrong? Well, listen to this — and you’re not going to believe your ears: He has said that his biggest problem in office has been not spending even more time telling us what he’s doing. After all the addresses, speeches, prime time tv appearances…Joe Biden would say he’s literally talked our ears off for the past three and a half years, and all he can think to do is talk some more? Talking would be fine, if he were proposing to do anything. Is he? In this entire campaign, has he proposed a single plan or initiative for his threatened second term? It seems like he spends all his time instead talking about me. Certainly my ears have been burning (which is less of a problem for me than it would be for some). But when it comes to the policies which would follow an Obama reelection, he’s mentioned no plan at all. Apparently he wants to just play it by ear.”
“Meanwhile, to fill the time he is not using to suggest his own plans, Obama claims we don’t have any of our own. In fact we have plenty, which we will be presenting throughout this convention. As a wise man once said, he who has ears, let him hear.”
“The relentless demonization of the opposing party which has characterized Obama’s reelection campaign is a stark contrast to the 2008 message of hope and change that candidate Obama used to deliver with an air of confidence and a grin that spread from ear to ear. The President promised at the start of his term that he would listen to both sides, and America believed him; he certainly appeared equipped for it. Very soon afterward, he switched to telling Republicans to shut up, as though his ears were too sensitive to bear even a whisper of dissent in our representative democracy. Of course, we didn’t shut up. We made our case to the American people, and in November 2010 we sent a message to Barack Obama loud and clear. Yet that message fell on deaf ears. Tens of millions of Americans delivered the biggest midterm rebuke to a sitting President in decades, and for Barack Obama that gigantic expression of dissatisfaction somehow just went in one ear and out the other. He’s taken the traditional American practice of a government representative of and responsive to its citizenry and turned it on its ear. It’s plain he will continue to govern as he has, no matter what anyone says, no matter what effect it has on our country, for as long as he is allowed to remain in office. His ideas have failed, he has no others, and he won’t listen to ours. We’ve tried two years of a united Democratic federal government and it didn’t work; we tried two years of a split government and it hasn’t worked. The only solution is for America to go to the polls on November 6, and throw Obama out on his….”
Ahh, but what would be an appropriate soundtrack? "Gonna Fly Now" comes to mind.