Her Not-So Inevitability gave her Big Speech last night. I watched bits of it - was she shrieking her way through it in her best impression of Donald Trump, or was that just me? Let me be clear - I don't hate Hillary. I hate the leaders of ISIS, and the ISIS thug who tried to decapitate an 86 year old priest in France. Yes, that makes me a bit of a failure on the "hate the sin, love the sinner" frontier, But I am OK with that. My point being, on that scale, I don't hate Hillary.
But wow, do I loathe her. I understand that every word coming our of her mouth was poll-tested and focus-grouped, and the odds are that she believes little to nothing of what she says, but still - the endless list of More Free Stuff Faster may succeed in uniting her party around unicorn rides and magic puppies, but how did she manage to keep a straight face? I credit botox.
Two moments struck me as rivals for Peak Absurdity. Here is the first:
I believe that our economy isn’t working the way it should because our democracy isn’t working the way it should.
That’s why we need to appoint Supreme Court justices who will get money out of politics and expand voting rights, not restrict them. And we’ll pass a constitutional amendment to overturn Citizens United!
Many of them are. But too many aren’t.
It’s wrong to take tax breaks with one hand and give out pink slips with the other.
So we are now judging the patriotism of others, a notion which sent Dems to the fainting couch during the Dark Bush Years (sorry, that was Bush II - lots of darkness for Dems). OK, corporations are "people" for some legal purposes, but how can a company be patriotic? One might have thought that various employees, officers or owners miught be patriots, but how does that translate, especially for a multinational with owners, employees and operations all over the world? I don't know.
But do note - just before calling on corporations to step it up on the patriotism front by paying more taxes she demands that they be stripped of their free speech rights as established by Citizens United and soon to be overturned, err, reinterpreted by the Hillarity! Court. Shorter Hillary; Hey, corporate America - Pay up and STFU.
The other laughably revelatory moment was this, as she explained how she would finance the unicorn rides by taxing the Koch brothers and Mitt Romney's kids:
Now, here’s the thing, we’re not only going to make all these investments, we’re going to pay for every single one of them.
And here’s how: Wall Street, corporations, and the super rich are going to start paying their fair share of taxes.
Not because we resent success. Because when more than 90 percent of the gains have gone to the top 1 percent, that’s where the money is. [And we are going to follow the money.]
So on our scorecards: "That's where the money is" is the famous Willie Sutton line about why he robs banks. "Follow the money" is, for my generation anyway, a classic Watergate drama exhortation, although it has since been re-purposed for the Clinton Foundation.
So when Hillary talks about taxing the rich she immediately swings to images of theft and corruption. Charming, especially since she was quite clear that she does not resent success. Then again, she and Bill didn't amass their hundred million inventing anything or building much of anything other than a global influence-peddling empire, so maybe she has internalized the notion that all wealth is ill-gotten. Uh huh.
Four years of this?
MORE: "Follow the money" did light up Twitter.