Election Eve is upon us and I am as excited as a kid at Christmas. Would you believe, a kid before an Easter Egg hunt? How about, a kid who just learned that his dentist appointment isn't for another hour?
I have given the challenge of getting through this evening a bit of thought, as I am sure many of you have. I imagine some, especially in California, will be hitting the soon-to-be-legal recreational weed. To each their own but for me, no way - back in the day a few puffs made time pass much more slowly, which is totally the opposite of the effect I am looking for. If it were tomorrow like, ten minutes ago that would be fine with me.
Steven Green et al will be drunkblogging at PJMedia, which seems like a smart middle-of-the-fairway choice. And I have some specific suggestions for the drinking crowd.
First, be thinking about using plastic cups or the light stemware from which one might daintily sip wine. Take care to avoid beer steins or manly whisky glasses. The notion here is that you want something light in your hand when you throw it at the television, which has to be a high-probability event tonight.
But for the manly scotchdrinkers , I say go with a twelve year old, and here is why - twelve years ago we had Bush-Kerry 2004 and who among us does not remember that night with a smile?
The early exit polls, leaked before any state polls had actually closed, were disastrous for Bush, and the Fox News reporters were broadcasting from convenient window ledges. I had to tear myself away from their long faces to head over to a party at the home of an ardent (and very amusing) Democrat who had a full house with champagne on ice.
Come eight o'clock polls closed in some states and we were all exhorted to shush so we could hear the quick calls for Kerry. Hmm, a mystery - states that were a landslide in the early exits were now too close to call. But party on!
Come nine o'clock, more polls closed, more states were available for projecting, and we were all shushed again to watch the Kerry wave, sure to break at any minute.
And again, nothing but "too close to call" in a bunch of 5 PM landslide states. Trouble in My Blue Heaven!
At about 9:30, some senior muckety-muck from Team Kerry came out to talk with the network anchor, and delivered five minutes of happy talk about hard work here and strong effort there and how it all looked good except for the places that looked great.
However! When he was done I turned to my frowning host and said, look, I don't claim to be the shrewdest judge of the human condition but if everything is so great for Kerry how come that guy looked like just before he sat down he was handed a note telling him his dog had been hit by a car and killed? I mean, is there some new fashion in happy faces that I missed?
And my host, who is a shrewd observer of the human condition, had a cogent explanation - "shut up".
Which I did. And over the next few hours the Bush supporters were raised out of the valley and the Kerry-ites were cast into darkness and it was beautiful. Although champagne did not flow freely at the end of the evening.
Well. Twelve year old scotch. And I don't imagine for a moment anything like that will happen tonight.