Sen. Kerry went to West Virginia, where he was greeted by the Evil Republican Attack Machine (ERAM). The new attack: by voting against the $87 billion bill to finance reconstruction in Iraq, Kerry had failed to support the troops.
However, the Kerry Fast Accurate Response Team was ready with an answer that, in addition to reassuring everyone, provides a new entry to the Kerry Motto Lotto:
Kerry on Kerry: "I actually did vote for the $87 billion before I voted against it."
And there was more good news for the Kerr-Bears - in the hearts and minds of Frenchmen everywhere (well, in France, anyway) John Kerry is more popular than George Bush and may even have eclipsed Jerry Lewis. C'est tres, tres bien, n'est ce pas?
UPDATE: Pretty funny.
MORE: Media watch: Shrewd guess at USA Today:
In a sentence that could become part of attacks on him as a "flip-flopper," Kerry also said that "I actually did vote for the $87 billion before I voted against it."
The LA Times overlooks this gaffe; at the WaPo, Howard Kurtz misses it in a relevant story but John Harris finds the deadly line.
And we note that the Senator's preferred construction is "Republican attack machine", so let it go forth from this time and place that we will respect his preference - RAM-tough it is!
MORE: I am so far ahead of the curve that I may double back upon myself! Andrew Sullivan endorses this quote for the Kerry Motto Lotto, noting that "In some ways, that small sentence completely sums him up."
But there's more! Jonah Goldberg recognizes the burgeoning need for a feature to parallel "Bushisms". Been there, done that, still waiting for the NRO t-shirt.
Just One Minute - tomorrow's sophomoric cheap-shot today!
Why, oh why, are we in danger of being ruled by this idiot?
Posted by: Patrick R. Sullivan | March 17, 2004 at 12:20 PM
Speaking of more entries for Motto Lotto:
"the French love John Kerry, and it shows"
" very much admired in France"
" more sympathetic to Europe"
" Kerry's cousin, now the mayor of St-Briac"
" the French are dreaming [of Kerry]"
Posted by: Patrick R. Sullivan | March 17, 2004 at 12:27 PM
My own humble suggestion for the new Shrummarized Kerry: "Fighting With Nuance". That the slogan is itself ambiguous in its meaning makes it all the more appropriate.
Posted by: Paul Zrimsek | March 17, 2004 at 02:56 PM
We are facing the closest race for an incontinent, err, incumbent president since, umm, gee, daddy was president. Ummm, why? Because George Jr. too is an out-of-touch, whiney, mealy-mouthed little bitch who never would have gotten anywhere in life if he wasn’t part of an oil-slick-stealing family who practically invented insider trading.
Posted by: bushgirlsgoneAWOL | March 18, 2004 at 07:59 PM
White House Admits Bush Lied "When Bush was asked about [the Environmental Protection Agency's report] last week, he dismissively remarked: 'I read the report put out by the bureaucracy.' ...White House press secretary Ari Fleischer fessed up: President Bush didn't actually read that 268-page Environmental Protection Agency report on climate change, even if he said he did. Fleischer was asked Monday at his daily White House briefing about Bush's comments that he'd read the report. "Whenever presidents say they read it, you can read that to be he was briefed," Fleischer said, producing laughter. --AP, June 10, 2002
Posted by: bush lies | March 18, 2004 at 08:32 PM