The Kerry Athletic Photo-Ops

Why is Senator Kerry so willing to let himself appear to be ridiculous in his many sporting photo-ops? I was actually starting to admire his willingness to be photographed in absurd settings - to do this, he must be rejecting the advice of every advisor on the expanding payroll, which does show an unexpected streak of authenticity.

However, the Man Without Kerry's Medical Records has a more insightful explanation - Kerry is being Kennedy, again, emphasizing his vigor to conceal some health problems and deflect questions about his as-yet-unreleased medical records.

MORE: My latest fave, from the Crank: Thurston and Lovey wave good-bye to Gilligan, the Skipper, and Bob Shrum.

Comments

[capt joe]

Thurston and Lovey. That is pretty funny. All those patrician airs.

[Appalled Moderate]

Could it be that the guy actually likes sports? Nah...too un-nuanced...

I look forward to your explanation of this.

[John Henry]

If he is so upset about outsourcing, why does he have a Yamaha motor on his dinghy instead of a Johnson, Evinrude, Mercury or other American brand?

Of course, if the Yahama is made in America, it is a great example of how outsourcing (by Japanese to America) actually benefits us. But Carry wouldn't want to mention that, would he?

John

[Paul Zrimsek]

Is anyone denying that Kerry likes sports? That's not the question here. Bill Clinton sincerely liked nooky, but he wasn't in the habit of inviting photographers along.

[Crank]

Isn't Novurania an Italian boat company?

[Greg F]

"Could it be that the guy actually likes sports? Nah...too un-nuanced...

I look forward to your explanation of this.

Think it is kinda silly myself but where are all the Bush 'action photos'?

[ed]

Hmmm.

Bush evidently plays golf, jogs and likes to work around his ranch. Other than that, your guess is as good as mine.

It's funny that Kerry's attempting to connect to the "common man". Not funny-amusing, more like funny-sad. It's readily apparent that he doesn't connect. Anybody see a picture of him trying to eat a philly cheesesteak? The man has never eaten one before, it's obvious.

It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't try so hard. But whenever does try something "common" it just doesn't come through. That trip to Wendy's as an example. Could it get any worse? The campaign ordered their real dinner from a 5-star restaurant, which got published in the local newspaper.

People don't like a lot of things, but being considered a chump pretty much tops them all.

[Brainster]

It's the oldest wheeze in the world; to quell whispers that the candidate is an invalid, show him doing something athletic. See particularly JFK tossing around the football, but also Chairman Mao swimming the Yangtze. IIRC Paul Tsongas did the swim thing as well in 1992 to combat stories about his prostate cancer battle; a few years later he was dead.

It certainly appears that Kerry's fairly athletic, although it must be noted that he can't throw a baseball much farther than C. Montgomery Burns, and his efforts to do so have been pretty embarrassing.

[Patrick R. Sullivan]

Remember Chernenko (or Andropov or someone) being held up between two flunkies at a reception to prove he was still alive, and deny Gorbachev the spot? That's kinda the position Kerry's campaign is in.

[Larry]

Try this theory: Kerry actually LIKES to windsurf and snowboard and mountain bike and all of that nonsense. He may be oblivious to the fact that he looks ridiculous and out-of-touch when he does this stuff, but what should his staff tell him to do? Go bowling in Ohio instead? Horseshoes maybe? Get on a horse?

The rotten-health theory comes off as a cheap shot, by the way.

[Bryan Lovely]

Better yet, who goes boating wearing camo shorts, a fleece jacket, and a necktie?!

[Bryan Lovely]

Bah. Ignore the previous comment. Need better eyes (or a larger photo).

[Jonathan]

Hey Larry:

Correction: The rotten-health theory would come off as a cheap shot if Kerry didn't have a documented history of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and prostate cancer, and if he were willing to release his medical records.

[Larry]

Jonathan, give me a link to the PTS Disorder rumor. If you can't, I'll take that as a smear. As for Kerry's
medical records, I understand that he has released most of them. I agree he should release all.

At any rate, I'm not convinced that what we're seeing is a Kennedy or Andropov moment. Hell, can't a goofy guy get a chance to windsurf around here? And isn't it better -- regardless of health -- to show the world an active face (W chopping wood, Clinton jogging, 41 on the cigarette boat, Reagan on horseback, Jimmuh building houses or whatever-the-hell-he-did) than not?

Much ado about nothing.

[Bill Arnold]

I'd suggest not going there (except for the medical records angle, which is legitimate)

Else you're liable to see things like a side by side with
Bush falling off a Segway:
http://www.bikexprt.com/witness/product/bushfalls.htm
Kerry Windsurfing:
http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20040830/i/r3488563219.jpg

And then there's the whole prefers Mountain Bikes v.s. prefers road bike controversy, you know, the type of bike ridden by France-smashing proud Texan Lance Armstrong.

And disturbingly true-looking reports that kerry played ice hockey: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=merron/kerry/040726

[moptop]

Appalled moderate,

How long have you been saving that link? Didn't you know that it was completely canceled out by the link below?

"Kerry takes a spill from bike"

http://www.usatoday.com/news/politicselections/nation/president/2004-05-02-kerry-bike_x.htm

And do you really think of yourself as a moderate if you carry such petty crap around in your head about Bush? Hey, I never claimed to be a moderate.

[Paul Coyle]

Speaking of records. When is Kerry going to release his less than stellar academic Records. Like, how hard is it to get a undergraduate in Political Science at Yale?

When is Kerry going to sign his Standard Form 180, authorizing the Department of Defense to release more than a 100 pages of his military records? He was asked by Tim Russert if he would, and Kerry said he would. That was six months ago. When is Kerry going to release his Vietnam journal, and post Vietnam journal when he was meeting with the Viet Cong and North Vietnamese in Paris?

When is Kerry going to have a real, unscripted new conference?

[jaed]

Kerry actually LIKES to windsurf and snowboard and mountain bike and all of that nonsense. He may be oblivious to the fact that he looks ridiculous and out-of-touch when he does this stuff, but what should his staff tell him to do? Go bowling in Ohio instead?

Maybe his staff should tell him not to have himself photographed looking like... well, like this? They can't and shouldn't keep him from doing the sports he likes (and, no sarcasm, I am seriously impressed that a 60-year old is windsurfing and snowboarding)... but he shouldn't be wearing flower-print shorts in front of the camera, or that silly daisy zipper-pull everyone was yammering about not long ago. It's part of the staff's job to notice that he's going to look silly and take steps to prevent photos that everyone's going to snicker at.

This is trivial stuff but it's another indicator, among more serious ones, of competence problems on the staff. (Or else a candidate who refuses to take his staff's advice.)

[AST]

Funny you should bring this up. I blogged earlier today that Kerry's qualification for CinC was four and a half months as captain on the SS. Minnow.

He's becoming a figure of derision. Like a sagging balloon in the Macey's Thanksgiving Parade.

[Don M]

http://www.americanthinker.com/articles.php?article_id=3789

numerous references to Kerry and Post tramatic sleep disorder: to include Theresa's mimicing his night terrors.

[J_Crater]

Perhaps we can get John and Teresa on a three hour tour on the SS Minnow. Please.

[Qwinn]

No pictures of "Action Kerry" can compare to these two. His talent for completely emasculating a football knows no bounds.

http://home.comcast.net/~fenrisulven/dork.jpg

http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20040806/i/r3188950796.jpg

Qwinn

[J_Crater]

I seem to remember a picture of John Kerry building a model airplane some time after losing a House race.
Here is something he can do after November.

http://www.rcboatmodeler.com/RB/plans/ssMinnow_1.asp

Proving that you can always learn something new, the boat was named after Newton Minnow, a former chairman of the Federal Communications Commission who in a 1961 speech referred to television as "America's vast wasteland."

[Larry]

I just followed those links and read about Kerry's sleep disorder. It makes me feel kind of sad for him -- and a little mad at people who are now degrading his military service. (Anyone who thrashes around yelling "down! down!" in his sleep deserves our thanks for his service, I think.)

As for his staff: Yes, they should tell him to wear cooler clothes -- no spandex, no daisy tags. But I'm afraid that wouldn't solve the fundamental problem. You see, Kerry might deserve our praise for taking enemy fire in country; but he's still one goofy-ass, Frankenstein's-monster, John Tesh's-retarded-older-brother lookin' mofo.

[Marc]

Kerry is just living up to past activities. Back in the day when he was called "Live Shot" by the press.

[Mark Poling]

Take a look at the outfit, ferchristsake.

Seriously bad shorts, a button-down shirt, and a goddamned sports jacket.

The mountain bike gear looked silly, but at least it went together (always excepting the model, of course). But the fashion statement in this picture....

Damn.

[Pat Curley]

The obvious conclusion is that he's pretty good at kicking things or otherwise using his feet, but he's never really learned to throw something hard with one hand (arguably used only in baseball, football and basketball, three sports Kerry never played much).

[thirdfinger]

John Kerry as Danny Kaye

If you squint real hard and ignore the hair color and the lack of comic timing and maybe drink enough Evan Williams you can see it. The guy who is a hero in his dreams. A legend in his own mind. The great adventurer, the stalwart fellow. Yes, he's Walter Mitty/John Kerry. There was always this feeling that I had seen this guy before (or someone like him). I'm old and have a bad case of C.R.S. so it took me awhile but suddenly it dawned on me and there it was "The Secret Life of John Kerry". It does seem to me that his is a 'Walter Mitty' kind of character. According to the Swifties his excellent adventure in Vietnam was very Mitty like. The people of Massachusetts have let him play a senator for the past few years. This could explain the sports thing. Yeah! Here I am the great international sportsman. Yeah! En su sueno.

[TC-LeatherPenguin]

Bill Arnold:
Yeah, he laced up skates. Did a twirl around the rink.
But the boy never went into a corner.

[Appalled Moderate]

Yo, Moptop....

Actually, I am coming around to a unified theory of scandal for the 2004 election. For every Kerry "issue", there is something very similar involving Bush, and visa versa.

(You know, Kerry takes a goofy picture -- Bush talks about OB_GYNs being denied the opportunity to share the love. Kerry falls off his bike, Bush falls off his bike. Bush manipulates the National Guard system to sort of blow off the last year iof his service, Kerry manipulates the Purple Heart system to get the %^&^ out of 'Nam.)

My thought is, given this odd balance of scandal, we can just ignore them and move on to ...um...issues. Kerry can stop talking about Vietnam, and Bush can start talking about Osama Bin Laden.

[JohnPV]

Appalled Moderate -

I was with you until the last sentence. If you think "Osama" is the main issue then you are out to lunch.
And BTW, even with your reasoning, why shouldn't Kerry start talking about Osama also?

[JohnPV]

Appalled Moderate -

I was with you until the last sentence. If you think "Osama" is the main issue then you are out to lunch.
And BTW, even with your reasoning, why shouldn't Kerry start talking about Osama also and not just stop boring us with Viet Nam?

[SCSIwuzzy]

Pat,
I think I agree with you. Kerry has throwing issues. His record with grenades has been pretty poor, both thrown and shot.