Happiness Is A Warm Gun

John Kerry solves his Teresa problem... NO! John Kerry's "Say Anything" tour becomes a "Do Anything" extravaganza as he tries to disguise his position on the 2nd Amendment by dressing up as a hunter and gunning down a hapless goose.

Maureen Dowd, who is not my normal source for wisdom, discussed this photo-op on Imus in the Morning. Paraphrasing freely, she said that this is just more of Kerry's annoying "me-too"-ism. "Bush shows he's religious, so Kerry has to show he's religious. Bush does something macho, so Kerry has to do something macho. But it doesn't come off as macho - instead, he just looks like Bush's woman."

Don Imus replied that "woman" could not be the word she meant to use. Ms. Dowd admitted that she had cleaned up her act for radio.

My take on this - I understand the political significance of the gun lobby. I only wish we had a stronger Circus Clown's Union - if we did, we would surely be treated to photo-ops of Kerry in a clown suit. Although this is a close second.

MORE: Dick Cheney has a belly laugh. And Kerry did not carry his bird out - is there an etiquette on this?

Comments

[Pierce Wetter]

Kerry has the magic ability to look like a pussy, even when holding a shotgun...

[Ben A]

Hey minuteman, wasn't there a baseball game of some sort last night? Could you fill us in on that?

[David]

There most certainly is an etiquette on this. You have your Brahmin carry the kill out as you go to the veranda for tea. Frankly, the only things that were missing were the elephants and bushbeaters.

[martin]

Yep. Me-too-ism. Bush got to be President and now Kerry will get to be President too! The irony is too rich.

[Jeff]

Happiness is a warm gun? I thought it was a dead Yankee!

(You failed to comment on this crushing blow. What gives?)

[TomHynes]

The best quote from the Times was this:

"while Kerry walked beside them with his 12-gauge in one hand and the other free to pet a ... Woody."

Okay, the "..." deletion was "a yellow labrador named", but that is a nitpick.

[KBiel]

Kerry: "The hunting trip reminded me of my days in Vietnam. I could just imagine myself again hunting wounded, fleeing enemies. It was fun, until that $#@! secret service agent bumped into me and made me shoot myself in the foot. That @#$%@%# hurt, a lot more than the rice shrapnel wound I received in Vietnam."

[TM]

OK, I have finished my castor oil, and now it's time for NY Yankee baseball.

[No Lucky Hat]

MSM must be getting more disciplined: the part where Kerry shows off his lucky CIA hat with his new camo jacket was edited out.

[Fritz Schranck]

To answer your question, yes, there's a matter of hunter etiquette, at least in the Delaware marshes where I hunted with my dad and his friends.

You carried out your own kills.

Hmmmn.

Wonder if it's the same way in Ohio.

/f

[MaDr]

"Kerry did not carry his bird out - is there an etiquette on this?"

You carry your own unless a) an accompanying child wants the honor, b) you're royalty, or c) you're an elitist.

[benrand]

He didn't shoot that fucking bird, someone else did it for him.

"I'm Lazy" WTF? He claimed that kill as his own. That's why he didn't carry the damn thing out.

Maybe he would have shot the bird but his SS agent bumped into him.

Giddy...what a douche.

[ed]

Hmmmm.

The only question I have is whether or not he crawled on his belly through the brush before shooting it.

[Brian]

What a bizarre complaint. Are you going to deny the fact that Kerry is a hunter? Or worse yet, are you going to deny the fact that all politicians pander?

This is far, far less laughable than Bush trying to pass himself off as a fiscal conservative or a "good steward of the land."

[SemiOnager]

What a bizarre complaint. Are you going to deny the fact that Kerry is a hunter?

It's not an established fact. I can say that he would not hunt in my group, but that has more to do with his being unsafe when handling a firearm than any skill he might or might not possess.
I am quite, quite willing to believe that he shoots sporting clays, but his 'I'm a hunter' stories are all packed full of little tidbits that make them more properly called 'I'm a bullshitter' stories.
He's a 'hunter' when the cameras are rolling and he's desperate to connect with people whose enthusiasms he cannot begin to fathom. Once he's gotten his publicity,,, uhh,,, shots, he goes instantly back to being an elitist who thinks the only good 'little person' is a disarmed 'little person'.

Or worse yet, are you going to deny the fact that all politicians pander?

It's not the pandering that rankles, it's the blatant hypocrisy.
Another view

[furious_a]

Every goose hunter I know was crouched in their blinds locked and loaded at least two hours before 7am., not just heading out to the blinds then. REAL goose hunters use the pre-dawn darkness to mask their approach, and the geese aren't as active once the sun is up. Why didn't the AP reporter inquire about the late start?

And if "each of the four men bagged a goose", as Kerry claims, why are only three men, not Kerry, carrying a dead goose? (Go check the videos and see for yourselves) And why didn't the AP reporter ask where the fourth goose was?

Guess the AP report ain't much of a hunter, either.

--furious.

[perfectsense]

Kerry’s after action report:
We were ambushed by a superior force of well concealed geese. Under the withering beating of wings, we were able to kill four geese and bring back three geese to feed people Bush made homeless. My gun jammed because the secret service jerk did not properly clean and load my shot gun. Nevertheless, we all "got one." I was gravely wounded an unable to carry back my goose, but I was able to pull another hunter out of the marsh with my wounded arm and lead everyone back to safety. Once I saw my hunting photos, I realized I looked less ridiculous in the NASA bunny suit.