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October 25, 2004

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Lissa

It’s not a matter of what you think. Possibly what you believe, but then it’s not your opinion that matters – not really. We can vote, pontificate, drag the matter across state lines and make it the battle flag on a sinking political ship –
It still won’t matter what you think, believe.
It still won’t be your opinion that matters.

I am a Lesbian.

That’s Lesbian, with a capital L – just so that you can say I’m demanding one more thing I don’t require. Just so you can determine I can’t have one more thing that I want –
Go ahead and take the L – lesbian I shall remain.

And in my heart, when you accuse me, and vote me down, I will feel every pang – every single vote kills me as though I was immortal, yet could die a thousand deaths.
Every time I feel your hatred – your religious righteousness, your indignation, I fall through myself, my heart pounds fast.
What do you think I want? Who do you think I am?

To devour your world – to wreak havoc on your children.

I am not a pedophile. Pedophiles are sick people (men and women), but usually straight, who fantasize and sometimes act out sexually with children.

I have never wanted to be one of them. Never understood the urge, or wanted to sneak a peek up a little girls dress.

I frighten women and intimidate men. Sometimes people question me in earnestness – they say I don’t look like a lesbian.

Others say it’s good to support the lesbian movement – as long as it’s from the back.

We are valid if our sexuality appeals to you – but not when it excludes you.

That’s discrimination, that’s racism. That’s the ethnocentric manipulation of a media machine and the puritan instincts of a country too prude to talk about sex. That’s America.

I am a Lesbian – I am an American Citizen.
They are synonymous. I cannot separate them from who I am – I was born to both.

And today, I am heartbroken at the state of my beloved land.

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