Jack Bauer busted!
Intrepid anti-terrorist agent Jack Bauer, a.k.a. "24" star Kiefer Sutherland, will
probably face a minor third-degree assault charge for an alleged head
butting of a fashion designer in New York this week, according to the
Daily News.
A fashion designer? What, did he say something catty about Sutherland's purse?
Not exactly. Actually, we are heartened that Sutherland was defending a woman's honor, sort of:
At the tightly packed Sub Mercer Bar (it's not much bigger than your typical NYC apartment) Kiefer Sutherland head-butted Jack McCollough (one-half of the gay design team Proenza Schouler) hard enough to break the designer's nose!
Apparently Jack (queen that he is) knocked into Brooke Shields and when he neglected to apologize, Mr. Sutherland gave him a piece of his mind, quite literally. Me-ouch!
Oh, boy. The Daily News is flooding the zone with this one.
The torturing swine....
Posted by: bad | May 07, 2009 at 11:43 AM
Poor Kiefer, like so many "celebs" who have everything in the world they could possibly want, has had a struggle with the booze and drugs deamons for years.
Fame? Keep it.
Posted by: verner | May 07, 2009 at 11:49 AM
Messenger bag messenger bag messenger bag--NOT HANDBAG!
Posted by: clarice | May 07, 2009 at 11:49 AM
Wasn' the designer shopping for a new nose anyway? Now Jack's insurance company can pay. It's a total win/win.
That messenger bag looks like what my son uses for school. hmmm
Posted by: bad | May 07, 2009 at 11:55 AM
Who head butts?
Posted by: Jane | May 07, 2009 at 12:15 PM
messenger bag--NOT HANDBAG!
TOTAL handbag. And it goes well with his Capri pants...
Posted by: Tom Maguire | May 07, 2009 at 12:31 PM
Too bad Jack wasn't on the scene when Scarlett Johansson was groped on the red carpet by a card carrying queer. lun
Posted by: Strawman Cometh | May 07, 2009 at 12:45 PM
Is it just me, or is Keifer trying to work his way out of his contract, by getting arrested
Posted by: narciso | May 07, 2009 at 01:22 PM
Garafalo broke him, narciso.
Posted by: bad | May 07, 2009 at 02:33 PM
Totally over the top giving a woofter a Liverpool kiss, a slapped wrist would have sufficed.
Posted by: PeterUK | May 07, 2009 at 02:56 PM
Brings back fond memories of the late, great professional wrestler Bobo Brazil, whose signature move was a head butt called the Coco Butt. See LUN.
Posted by: Thomas Collins | May 07, 2009 at 03:25 PM
Speaking of butt heads, get a load of the "120% dedicated to everything she does" FLOTUS. LUN
She needs to get a better speechwriter.
Posted by: bad | May 07, 2009 at 03:57 PM
Well--here's the deal:
McCollough was trying to make some moves on Sutherland and was trying to get Brooke Shields out of the way.
Yeah--that's it.
Posted by: glasater | May 07, 2009 at 04:30 PM
Brooke Shields denies McCollough did anything to her. She says they are friends, he often designs clothes for her, and she has no idea why Sutherland came to her "rescue".
Between this and Tom Cruise's decision to use her as his anti-psychiatry punching bad, she must wonder how her karma got so off kilter.
Posted by: MayBee | May 07, 2009 at 04:41 PM
we need to head butt the left more often.
Posted by: matt | May 07, 2009 at 04:50 PM
Tom--It's a "functional, nonchalant bag" like this one:
"The latest and most exciting bag off the Hermes Fall runway is the Jypsière bag (aka the Birkin messenger) designed by Jean Paul Gaultier. He was seen wearing the androgynous shoulder bag down the runway following his Fall ‘08 show for Hermes.
The bag is fashioned after a hunting satchel in which Gaultier describes as “a functional, nonchalant bag slung across the shoulder, combined with the iconic details of the Hermes bags”.
Posted by: clarice | May 07, 2009 at 05:12 PM
punching bad
oh my... lil freudian slip, Maybee? But why? I've stopped sneaking around with Tapper....
Posted by: bad | May 07, 2009 at 05:21 PM
Maybee:
"Brooke Shields denies McCollough did anything to her. She says they are friends, he often designs clothes for her, and she has no idea why Sutherland came to her "rescue".
Hmmm - designs clothes for her (see LUN) - like this?
Hmmm - has no idea why Sutherland came to her rescue (see LUN) - from this?
Posted by: centralcal | May 07, 2009 at 05:26 PM
Oh, and Maybee - I think more than her "karma" is "off kilter." Maybe she needs a new full length mirror?
Posted by: centralcal | May 07, 2009 at 05:30 PM
Head butt is a total over-representation.
Jack Bauer did all that damage by brushing his fatty earlobe against the ponce.Lightly
Posted by: Soylent Red | May 07, 2009 at 06:11 PM
Speaking of wild and crazy bar fights...hey, Soylent, it's . . . May.
Posted by: hit and run | May 07, 2009 at 07:17 PM
That hat is the problem. Eesh.
ha ha ha ha ha, bad.
Posted by: MayBee | May 07, 2009 at 07:47 PM
Hi, HIT!!
Posted by: clarice | May 07, 2009 at 08:43 PM
Yeah yeah hit... I know.
They have me out on the road quite a bit here, doing good things for the Army. A week at a time out hither and yon. And here I thought I would learn winemaking.
I am hoping for the last week in May to get down to Fayette-nam. Sooner rather than later I'll get up to DC. Definitely planning on doing that for Independence Day.
Here I build you guys all up and then don't produce. I'm such a tease.
Posted by: Soylent Red | May 07, 2009 at 10:02 PM
yeth you are,you naughty naughty boy..(We have a giant fiesta at chez Feldman on the 4th--if you plan on coming let me know and we'll set a place for you.)
Posted by: clarice | May 07, 2009 at 10:06 PM
centralcal:
LOL! Did you check out the fashion fright night blog that photo came from? You'd think there would be no shortage of mirrors in the circuit circle.
hit & soylent in the same thread! Good times!
Posted by: JM Hanes | May 07, 2009 at 10:48 PM
Clarice:
Deal me in. Invite lots of good looking salsa partners for me.
Posted by: Soylent Red | May 08, 2009 at 08:03 AM
JMH: I most certainly did check out gofugyourself - so much to laugh about! - so many to laugh at!
Now I know where to go when I need a good healthy laugh.
Posted by: centralcal | May 08, 2009 at 09:14 AM