They'll Have To Pry It From My Cold, Greasy Hands...

In "Popcorn's Dark Secret" we learn that movie theater popcorn is too greasy and too salty.  Who knew?

Comments

[clarice]

Center for Science in the Public Interest, a group of the most obnoxious nannies ever, recommends we eat the box the popcorn is sold in.

[Janet]

Too funny Clarice!

[Charlie (Colorado)]

The big soda has a lot of sugar, too.

[clarice]

And then there's the waxy cup the soda comes in and the carbonation is bad for your bones and you might catch cold in the movie house. The only safe thing is to stay home with mommy and drink hot chicken soup made with locally raised organic, free range chicken from which every drop of fat (and flavor) has been skimmed off.

[bad]

The only thing to do is sneak in booze and pretzals.....

[Thomas Collins]

How did we ever stand up to the Japanese and Nazi armies in WW2 munching on our greasy popcorn, inhaling Lucky Strikes and guzzling our booze.

I propose a 200 percent excise tax on all products labelled organic. I am so tired of the holier than thou food buddinskies.

[Porchlight]

TC,

Me, too. A close friend and I have drifted apart in recent years because all she talks about anymore is organic food (the benefits of) and things like high fructose corn syrup (the evilness of).

This is a mom who works about 15 hours a week and whose kids are on S-CHIP.

You KNOW we live in an affluent society when families with kids receiving government services manage to eat nearly 100% organic. Meanwhile I work full-time so we can pay our own way and eat regular old food.

But I'm a broken record on this subject...

[Rob Crawford]

Ah, another CSPI press-released turned into a story by our "professional" media.

Was it REALLY such a slow news day they needed to give those ninnies a boost?

[Thomas Collins]

I went to a conference in Springfield, MA yesterday, and on the way back to eastern Mass., I stopped at a service center on the Mass. Turnpike and had a double quarter ponder with cheese. I guess I am not on an Obama Approved Nutrition Program.

[Jane]

Gee TC, why didn't you meet me at Rovezzi's instead?

[Thomas Collins]

I was going to call you, Jane, but I was delayed getting on the Turnpike by having to deal with work calls. By the time I stopped for my McD's break, the dinner hour had long past.

[Jane]

Bummer!

[glasater]

Hot and spicy pork rinds are just the best! :-)

Always have them on a road trip...

[matt]

add some Slim Jims to that super size!

...old tires, sawdust, a little preservative,
some flavoring and food color...they should be promoting these foods as recycling measures if nothing else....don't these environmentalists realize most of this stuff is actually recycling anyway?

[Frau Reibekuchen]

Mmmmmm...salt and fat = two-thirds of the holy trinity salt-fat-sugar.

[Janet]

I have a refrig. magnet that reads..."There's a special trick I do with fat-free food: Throw it away."

[Frau Reibekuchen]

Just add applesauce to latkes or Reibekuchen and you're there.

[Thomas Collins]

Folks get so worried about PC food that they just can't enjoy good food. I love tabooleh, hummus, Armenian string cheese, stuffed grape leaves and Armenian cracker bread. Folks see me eating the stuff and compliment me on eating a healthy Meditteranean diet. I tell them I eat the stuff because I love it, and when my fancy turns to cheese doodles, then I'll eat cheese doodles.

[bad]

... and when my fancy turns to cheese doodles, then I'll eat cheese doodles.

heresy!!!

[JM Hanes]

In other news, the Hanes Foundation is set to release a study showing that the artificial butter on movie theater popcorn offers more effective protection against Swine Flu than vaccination -- but only if you ask for extra butter in the middle.

[bad]

Good to see ya again, JMH!!

[DrJ]

Folks get so worried about PC food that they just can't enjoy good food.

A story apropos this comment. I was at AAA paying my bill yesterday. Behind the counter was a young lady who clearly had been crying, and was quite distraught. I was helped by another, and she claimed Ms. Upset was so because she had swine flu (or thought she did). Why she was at work I don't know.

In any event, I mentioned that I had not had a flu in 10 or 15 years. "Really? What do you eat? You must have a healthy lifestyle!" I assured her that I do everything I can *not* to live a healthy lifestyle.

Sheesh! I had no idea celery (or free-range hot dogs or whatever) were good at preventing swine flu. Who know?

[bad]

free-range hot dogs

That phrase gave me the most amazing visuals...

[hit and run]

The fact that Free Range Hot Dogs are not free is a conspiracy of Big Meat By-Products to deprive all of us of our Constitutional Rights.

FREE FREE RANGE HOT DOGS FOR ALL!

[Jane]

TC,

The day after Thanksgiving I am learning to make Armenian string cheese from one of the original Colombo yogurt people.

I can't wait

[clarice]

JMH!!!!
Remember what Julia always said,"The more better the better."
Those were the days.

[daddy]

I agree with the story.

If "too salty" Popcorn is all we have now at our Movie Theaters, we ought to make a stink about it, because our history tells us that in 1612 when the French Explorers in the Great Lakes region sat down to dinner with the Iroquois, they were treated to Popcorn, Popcorn">http://www.essortment.com/all/whatisthehist_rsdt.htm">Popcorn Soup, and Popcorn Beer. How come I can't get a good pint of Orville Redenbocker at my local cinema I want to know?

Or take Columbus. When he stepped ashore on some St Jane's island in 1492, he wasn't just greeted with a population that had been feasting on Popcorn for at least 5,600 years. He was also greeted with good looking gals wearing nothing but Popcorn Corsages and headdresses decorated by Popcorn. Instead of "greasy kernals", why can't we get some of that Popcorn bikini action and save the grease for suntan lotion?

The Chroniclers of old have told us that the ancient American tribes believed when the kernal Popped, the Cracking noise was the sound of an angry God being released from imprisonment. What was he trying to tell us? Instead we've imprisoned our Kernals in soulless industrial machines that stifle the message before they can even announce their anger, then we drown them in butter, and squish them in cups bearing only the message, "Enjoy the Movie." Surely Gaia cringes.

And when those kernels burst into small white flowers, the ancient Aztec's tossed them upon the waters in offering to Tlaloc, considering them hailstones given to the water God. Can such respect endure at the Saturday Matinee?

And did not the Pilgrims likewise chow on Popcorn with humility and dignity and thankfulness on that first Thanksgiving?

Oh the Apple had it's Johnny Appleseed.
And the Peanut its George Washington Carver.
But who will speak for PopCorn? Only The New York Times. Bah, this is not an issue of Pop political correctness about non-hydroginated Coconut Oil or milligrams of Sodium. This is an issue of bio-ethicism and PoPCorn dignity.

Stop the madness.

[BR]

If you'd read past the volleyball visuals the other night, you'd know what I mean when I say my left leg is up in the air at the right angle :) Garwxyful!!

[Thomas Collins]

Is your recipe going to include caraway seeds, Jane? I love it when there are lots of black caraway spots in the white string cheese (now that I think of it, I wonder whether Armenian string cheese speckled with caraway seeds is a favorite food of folks who use that interracial dating site that used to spam JOM).