Does Anyone Want An Al Gore Moment?

Al Gore may or may not have sexually assaulted a masseuse at a hotel in Portland in 2006.

The woman went to the police in 2006, then dropped away; there was some talk of a civil action, but no papers were filed and the Gore people deny any settlement.

The woman went back to the police with a detailed statement in January 2009, but the police decided there was insufficient grounds to pursue an investigation.  And now the woman is going public.

OK, I read through most of the train wreck witness statement (which answers some of Ann Althouse's questions, BTW), and have some stray thoughts.

1.  Ick.

2-5: Eeew.

6.  For righties, imagine reading this about, hmm, Dick Cheney or George Bush.  Lefties, feel free to imagine reading this about Big Al.

7.  The woman is a terrific storyteller.  And like flaws in fine leather, the holes in her story add to the authenticity - if she were making it up, why make up a violent, mercurial Al Gore utterly unknown to the rest of us?

8.  Why would she be lying?  Was this initially meant to be a shakedown in 2006 but she lost her nerve?  Are the Gore people lying when they say she never paid her?  (But then, why is she going public now?)

A guess, based on her 2009 statement - the divorce precipitated her latest appearance.  The woman is a lib, as were her friends - on p. 27 we are told she is in the "Birkenstock Tribe", she lost friends over this, and she was advised that she should just shut up to help save the planet. 

But with Al and Tipper going their separate ways, Big Al is looking a little less iconic and her story may seem a bit more plausible.

9.  I think the police were right that there was not going to be enough physical evidence to support a prosecution.  I suppose they could have tried to haul Big Al in for questioning, but what were the odds?

That said, she did claim to have made contemporaneous statements to friends, her doctor, and her therapist.  That can be of some use to a police investigator and more to a reporter.  [And a friend comes forward, claiming the woman gave a contempraneous account of an assault.]

10.  The woman says she felt sure that Big Al was on familiar ground with the masseuse/hotel room/assault scenario.  If, as she suspects, there are other victims, one presumes that the same crusading press that brought forth so many of Tiger's babes will have some success here.

11. The police interviewer does poke around the issue that some hotel guests ask for a massage when they really want a "massage" (wink), and some masseuses are happy to provide extra service for extra tips.  The woman insists that, although she is well aware of the issues, she is always very professional, older, and not that kind of masseuse. 

12.  Do I believe her?  What kind of question is that?  I believe we will be seeing her on national television in the role of Juanita Broaddrick; if we also see a parade of masseuses with similar stories, I will probably rush to judgment.  But not now.

OVER TO ANN:

If Gore really did what she said, does it suggest that he's had other massages and developed a modus operandi of requesting abdominal work, etc. etc. Is the abdomen a normal part of a legitimate massage? I've had a lot of full body massages in my time, and the abdomen was never included. But I am a woman. Maybe it's normal for a man. Or do you have to make a special request?

From the statement, it was "unusual" for a client to specifically request ab work; it can get awkward, and some masseuses consider it a no-go zone.  However, the woman is licensed in Chi Nei Tsang, which involves abdominal massage.  Do we need to talk about Big Al's irritable bowels?  I am moving back to points 1-5.

Big Al also requested a massage of his adductors, or inner thighs.  Also a red flag, but hey - this was the Vice President and near-President.  Sort of ties in to the notion that this was not his first time.

THEN AGAIN:  There is only one Frank J:

Of course, it could all be a mistake; maybe the masseuse ran into some tree branches and thought it was Al Gore groping her.

HARDLY FAIR AND BALANCED:  This AP report basically yucks it up over a massage gone south and condenses a long wrestling match into this:

She alleged he later tried to have sex with her.

How did he try - did he say "Pretty please" and bat his baby blues?  Not exactly - the allegation is that he wrestled and groped her for quite while.  And she claims Big Al went with the timeless "Come into the bedroom and listen to my IPod in its cool docking station" line - she really needed to hear "Dear Mr. President" by Pink, he insisted.  The AP lost a lot of nuance there.

Comments

[Rob Crawford]

Seriously, WILL EVERYONE STOP TALKING ABOUT AL GORE AND SEX?!

[peter]

What are the holes in her statement of which you write. I don't see any. I find it credible on its face.

[Clarice]

I've had a number of massages. None cost $540 even taking into consideration there'd be an extra fee for in room service.

[Danube of Thought]

Where there's smoke there's fire, as the wise old saying goes.

[peter]

For one thing, I'd like to see if a Mr. Stone checked into that room. Why would a former nationally elected leader have to use a pseudonym when checking into a hotel?

[A. Sullivan]

I'd give Al the massage of his life!

[Buford Gooch]

Ick. Yuck. Ewwww! And furthermore, Ick, yuck, ewwww!

[lyle]

So...this masseuse was into woodworking, huh?

[narciso]

Just another installment, of 'these goggles they do nothin'

[Danube of Thought]

Was the $540 her fee or the hotel room charge?

Is there any reason to doubt that Gore stayed in that hotel that night? Where does the "Mr. Stone" thing come from, Peter?

[peter]

OT, and h/t patterico, the LUN asks some interesting questions about Obama's financial holdings and the handling of the spill.

[Clarice]

Her fee, DoT

[Jane]

Peter,

Yeah I've been reading that he sold his BP holding before the spill (and after the Feb report, and stands to make $8.5 m for his, shall we say. lucky guess.

$540 is too much for a massage. Did Spitzer pay that much?

[narciso]

That's just too disturbing to consider, OT and quickly, Ambinder's account has even less
attribution in it, than Hasting's profile, so why trust it

[Rob Crawford]

Anyone else ever notice that spas for women are located at high-end resort hotels, cruise ships, etc. while spas for men are located in strip malls and truck stops?

[NK]

OK you righties, I don't want to hear any of you saying ALGORE didn't learn anything from Big Bill Clinton. ALGORE obviously memorized the Juanita Broderick triumph, although ALGORE did forget the "better put some ice on that" touch.

Of course he did this. Why did the women come forward now? well the tough economy is pinching (heh no pun) the, ahem, personal services industry, and with the Gore divorce, this woman is jumping into line before Tipper takes everything.

Now if I can only get rid of the image of a porcine ALGORE flashing a "come hither look" and demanding an "adominal massage" without jabbing darning needles into my eyes --- quick must think of baseball ERA stats, Heisman trophy winners, Queen's Speech etc...

[Jane]

OT - the American won the longest Wimbleton match in the history of earth.

[Rob Crawford]

Just another installment, of 'these goggles they do nothin'

And you can't claw out your mind's eye.

[sylvia]

I believe it. First of all, if Bill Clinton picked him to hang out with him, Gore couldn't have been THAT much of an angel.

Second of all, I personally know guys, one guy an engineer, who makes it a habit of going to massage parlors. And even though I didn't know the guy that well, he started bragging to me one time about how he convinced this massage girl to have sex with him, how it was difficult to do, how he had to insist, pay a lot of money for it etc. I mean it was odd that some guy I only casually knew was telling me about his illegal behavior, but I guess he couldn't resist bragging.

So I think that illustrated the mindset to me that the "massuese" is a middle ground between prostition and picking up. If the masseuse actually sleeps with you, the guy feels like he won a challenge, as compared to just paying for a prostitute.

I bet a lot of masseuses go for it. Maybe when Al Gore was younger and cuter, and he was cute, he didn't have to insist, he just got it. Now that he more rotund, some of the masseuses aren't as happy to oblige, and that made him angry.

[A. Sullivan]

Ooh...I've just got to know! Is Big Al a...bear?? I'll bet he is!

[swoon]

[Captain Hate]

I wonder if Slick still has enough functioning grey matter to appreciate this

[Jane]

Gee, it must be a coincidence that sylvia has arrived - it certainly can't be the subject matter.

[NK]

well played A. Sullivan

[sylvia]

Another thing I think they should do is, disallow money settlements for sex assault cases. That allows every rich guy, the guys we want least to get away with it, to get away with it, because then they can claim the girls are coming after the money.

[Tom Maguire]

What are the holes in her statement of which you write. I don't see any.

1. The method of payment was mystifying to the police and me. She claimed to have discussed a special arrangement with the hotel by which they would pay her and bill Al, but the hotel didn't seem to recognize that. And I am still not sure whether she ever got paid.

2. She keeps saying she was terrified, yet keeps pausing to gather her belongings and her masseuse table. OK, I get that it represents a notable investment and that people lock up on odd things under stress. Still, her story would be a lot stronger if she had abandoned the table, run screaming into the night, and collected it the next day (or was she worried that Big Al would steal it?)

3 - I can picture Al Gore acting as she describes, with the towering rages, but it's not easy.

Just going from her prepared statement, she would be a good witness, I guess, but we haven't seen her yet.

[sylvia]

Yes Jane gender relations do interest me. Psychology interests me. Ain't nothing wrong with that.

[MarkO]

Based on all the porn movies I've seen, Gore felt he was being shortchanged (yes, I mean what you are thinging) without receiving the benefit of his bargain. Cheap by Spitzer standards.

As to the witness and her reluctance, seems about right to me. She could be lying, but our experience with him tells us he is for sure.

[MarkO]

thinging? Whoa. Calling Dr.Freud.

[Mike Huggins]

That sound of chairs being knocked over must be the "Washington Press Corps" scrambling as fast as they can to get away from this story. Imagine the scorn of your fellow scribes if you were the one seen to have brought down "Big Al" protector of the Earth and all that is good.

[Neo]

They say that LBJ used to "do" women in his Senate office, so is any of this possible .. sure.

[Captain Hate]

disallow money settlements for sex assault cases. That allows every rich guy, the guys we want least to get away with it, to get away with it, because then they can claim the girls are coming after the money.

So somebody who gets raped and has to see counselers to deal with getting their lives together (before your Captain Awesomeness's wonderful health care delivers that on the back of a unicorn) are just supposed to put out for that just like the defense lawyer will say they did for the sex? Is that how it works?

[Clarice]

Sylvia:"I mean it was odd that some guy I only casually knew was telling me about his illegal behavior, "

I can't imagine why he thought you'd be interested in this.

[DebinNC]

I bet Gore invented the internet to have easy access to porn.

[sylvia]

Well Tom as to your Point 2, I agree with what you are saying. It is a litle odd that she would hang around so long if she were terrified.

I can only imagine in support of her, that when something like that happens, it can happen in pieces or stages.

Like maybe at first you think it's just something silly and then think you can diffuse the situation and then maybe he gets rougher and then you don't quite get what's going on, until a minute later. So for a second after that when you realize the guy is getting insistent you could be terrified and then the guy calms down and then you think you might have been overreacting, but then it starts back up etc.

Although I have never been assaulted or had a friend assualt I have been around guys getting too ornery, and it usually does happen in stages. It's the rare case where the guy just full on assaults. So that could be believable. So you might have to be a woman to understand that part.

[sylvia]

Actually Clarice, people tell me all kinds of personal things that they don't tell other people. I am not sure why. Maybe because I am a good listener. I also make it a practice of not acting judegemental so I can get them to tell me the story. And plus I ask questions.

I am also a person that everyone asks help from, at say a store. Or the person that everyone asks directions from. Don't know why exactly.

[anduril]

This seems the right thread for this unusual headline:

Naked Man Arrested At Library With Stolen Cheese

If you're really interested you can google for the story.

[jean]

If you watch some of Mr.Gores old speeches he looks really angry and very much a bully.So why wouldn't it transfer to his private life?

[narciso]

I think the answer you're looking from TM, is No!!!

[hit and run]

Psychology interests me

Absent the logy,we're in full agreement.

I am also a person that everyone asks help from

Except here for some very odd reason I can't possibly fathom.

So you might have to be a woman to understand that part.

Maybe that's it.

[Danube of Thought]

Judge Feldman (no relation) stiffs the govt.'s request for a stay of his ruling.

What were those dopes thinking?

[Melinda Romanoff]

Deb-

You win!

Off to the store for a new keyboard...

[Danube of Thought]

I'm missing something. I have read the lengthy statement at SmokingGun.com, but saw nothing about the $540 nor the method of payment. Maguires "train wreck witness statement" link takes me to a Portland newspaper, but there I find a link only to a police report, not a witness statement.

Somebody fill me in, please--this is urgent gossip!

[glasater]

zerohedge tweet:
Feldman gives Ken Salazar 30 days to comply with overturn of drilling ban

[peter]

The use of the pseudonym "Mr. Stone" is from the police report which is linked to the story.
As far as her hanging around, I am sure 99 per cent of professional masseuses get hit on for happy endings, and she has probably dealt with it before exactly as she did by trying to defuse the situation without losing her tip or her commission from the hotel. Whether the use of the word "terrified" was justified is questionable. She was probably "terrified" that she wouldn't get paid, and would lose her hotel relationship.

[Danube of Thought]

disallow money settlements for sex assault cases

Hey, what a great idea! And we could also disallow them for medical malpractice, personal injury, securities fraud, slip-and-fall, and all those other cases where the rich defendant claims the plaintiff is just after the money.

[The Gorebellied Fool.]

Peter, this is what I meant when I said I hoped it would all end in ridicule. But you were right, there's lots of anger, too.

Yellow Badge up high
On the Blacklisted Free Ones.
Merciful Gaia.
===========

[daddy]

Yay!

FOX NEWS (Megan Kelly Show) is now doing a long segment precisely on the Administration lying about the 7 Scientists, in order to have ammo to do the Moratorium. She did not do it near as well as our Clarice and others here, but it is good to see it being looked at.

One of the 7 Scientists was briefly interviewed saying the Legal paperwork Salazar put together was bogus about the Scientists views, and Kelly said word is the order to say the Scientists agreed with Salazar came from high up in the Administration.

Apparently the Judge just denied the stay requested by the Administration. Next up, a segment on Bobby Jindal detailing how much revenue is and will be lost by this proposed Moratorium.

[A. Sullivan]

Al, I just want you to know...I specialize in the abdominal and gluteal areas, massage-wise.

Call me!

[A. Sullivan]

Oh, and one other thing. Why would you be interested in touching...breasts?

I don't get it.

[Captain Hate]

If you watch some of Mr.Gores old speeches he looks really angry and very much a bully.So why wouldn't it transfer to his private life?

How long ago? It was obvious to me in the 2000 campaign that he wasn't a mentally well person: the creepy performance during the debate when he hovered over GWB, the blatant lies and falsehoods he'd make that the MSM never called him on. Over half the voters chose to ignore that and voted for him anyway; fortunately the electoral college temporarily saved our bacon.

His glowbull worming speeches have been an embarrassment to anybody with a working cortex and definitely anybody practicing science. Significantly no-one has been allowed to debate him on any of the issues because Al would get thoroughly trounced. He's unable to think in anything other than nursery-school parables like "The earth has a fever" because he's incapable of processing complex concepts. That his book was entitled "An Inconvenient Truth" rather than "Hypothesis" or "Finding" reveals to me the messianic nature of his acquired self-image.

[Melinda Romanoff]

watch out, daddy, Ken Salazar's evil eye has turned Northwards.

[MarkO]

If we disallow settlements, does that mean all cases must be tried? I will need to mull this over. Of course, the lawyer gets paid, right?

[Jane]

I think Deb wins too. And I love Feldman's stiffing - so to speak.

[Dorothy Jane]

Disturbing trend in iconic married libs, just sayin'

[matt]

I spend a lot of time on 12 hour flights hither and thither and then lots of short flights in cramped seating to the point where I literally cannot unbend.

Most good hotels in Asia have massage services. These are very legitimate and professional. Tokyo, which is one of the most expensive cities in the world, is a good example.

An hour massage in room there is @ $100. An hour at my chiropractor's office is about the same. At $500+ Al be getting the super deluxe.

[A. Sullivan]

OK, Al, so you haven't called yet.

Is it because I'm a conservative?

[Pofarmer]

New Dr. Suess.

I do not like this Uncle Sam, I do not like his health care scam.

I do not like these dirty crooks, or how they lie and cook the books.

I do not like when Congress steals,

I do not like their secret deals.

I do not like this speaker Nan,

I do not like this 'YES WE CAN'.

I do not like this spending spree,

I'm smart, I know that nothing's free,

I do not like your smug replies, when I complain about your lies.

I do not like this kind of hope.

I do not like it you BIG Dope.

I do not like it NOPE NOPE NOPE!

[Captain Hate]

FOX NEWS (Megan Kelly Show) is now doing a long segment precisely on the Administration lying about the 7 Scientists, in order to have ammo to do the Moratorium. She did not do it near as well as our Clarice and others here, but it is good to see it being looked at Megyn doing anything on camera.

[Dorothy Jane]

Disturbing trend in iconic married libs, just sayin'

[The amount of money he has enticed people to invest dwarfs his own fortune. And dragons breathe fire when their hoard is purloined.]

The correct, and ultimately historical name, should be 'A Convenient Untruth'.
================

[Pofarmer]

So, immediately following a "Things could always be worse" thread, we get an AlGore sex thread complete with..............Sylvia.

Blech.

[Danube of Thought]

OK, I've found the links and have read everything. It appears that the witness statement at Smoking Gun dropped a few pages.

I'm ready to rule: he did it.

the creepy performance during the debate when he hovered over GWB

God, was that something. He lumbered across the stage to take up what he thought was a menaacing posture in order to rattle Bush, who just snickered at him. Somebody the next day said he had been a dead ringer for Peter Boyle in Young Frankenstein.

[Threadkiller]

1. The method of payment was mystifying to the police and me. She claimed to have discussed a special arrangement with the hotel by which they would pay her and bill Al, but the hotel didn't seem to recognize that. And I am still not sure whether she ever got paid.

She must not have accepted his Carbon Credit Card.

[NK]

OK, Al, so you haven't called yet.
Is it because I'm a conservative?

Posted by: A. Sullivan

DING!!DING!! DING!! ladies and gentlemen we have a thread comment winner!

[Danube of Thought]

Well well well. The insufferable Tiki Barber is broke and out of work. That makes me quite deleriously happy.

Excellent gossip day.

[Ignatz]

--Actually Clarice, people tell me all kinds of personal things that they don't tell other people. I am not sure why.--

Perhaps they don't tell other people because you're the only one that can hear the voices telling you these things.

[sylvia]

"the creepy performance during the debate when he hovered over GWB"

So true. That was a very psycologically revealing moment. One of those telling micromoments.

As to 1. for Tom's points. I bet that there is some under the table stuff going on for masseuses, so not being clear about the payment method sort of makes sense. And I'm sure the hotel would not recognize that.

And Pofarmer, don't be jealous, it doesn't become you.

[Captain Hate]

The insufferable Tiki Barber is broke and out of work. That makes me quite deleriously happy.

LOL. He's such a bum; badmouthing Coughlin and, when he retires, the team reacts by winning a Super Bowl. Little did he know that was just the start of the embarrassment.

[sylvia]

testing. Was my comment eaten?

[I tot I taw a pussycat listening to a who.]

Wow, PoF, maybe I should try planting magic beans.
==============

[Parking Lot]

(Excellent gossip day.))

and this: Val Kilmer Apologizes For Calling Neighbors Homicidal And Drunk

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/24/val-kilmer-apologizes-for_n_623772.html

[Parking Lot]

Pofarmer .. that was excellent!

[narciso]

Yet they were thinking of running him for Governor of New Mexico, once upon a time.
"Iceman" has 'broken through to the other
side"

[sylvia]

And it doesn't surpise me the police says there was not enough evidence. I mean what kind of evidence do they want - it's a she said, he said, not much evidence to be found.

They probably didn't want to deal with it. A lot of people are like that. For instance I emailed Tom here a few times to get him to deal with some issues on his page and, nice guy that I thought he was, he didn't even bother to email back, suggesting he doesn't want to deal with it. So apparenlty that is common among a lot of people.

[Parking Lot]

what with his having so many climate groupies it's a wonder he had to pay for it

[PaulL]

Al Gore: Almost President.

John Edwards: Almost Vice-President.

What does this say about the voting public?

[Jane]

I just love this from VDH.

[larry]

"... we have a thread comment winner!" OK, but that pushes Deb up to comment of the week.

Somebody the next day said he had been a dead ringer for Peter Boyle in Young Frankenstein. Posted by: Danube of Thought | June 24, 2010 at 01:31 PM A slam to Boyle, a man of considerable talent and only half the girth. "Pardon me boy, is this the Transylvania Station?" Great flick. In my personal top 20.

[jwest]

Although I’ll probably regret saying this, Sylvia did bring a bit of insight in her comment concerning the personality traits exhibited by Gore.

Gore is probably someone who would never pay for a prostitute. In his mind, he differentiates between paying for sex and “talking” a masseuse he is heavily tipping into certain acts to give him a feeling of conquest. Just as Clinton partitioned blow jobs from “sexual relations”, Gore has convinced himself that his personal magnetism will win the ladies over, if only he sets the stage by being naked and holding out the promise of hundreds of dollars for a good performance.

On a different aspect of this mind-soiling event, I can just imagine what the MSM would be doing if this were Dick Cheney instead of Gore.

[Dave (in MA)]

I dug up the video of the hovering that Cap'n mentioned.

[Dave (in MA)]

Jane:

"Couldn’t David Axelrod have admonished his candidate to cut out the creepy stuff about himself and his throng being “the ones we’ve been waiting for”? Why was there a need for all that megalomaniac hocus-pocus about slowing the “rise of the oceans” and healing the planet?"

Surely VDH doesn't expect us to believe that The Biggest Celebrity In The World writes his own stuff?

[sylvia]

And when I said this above "or had a friend assualt(assaulted)", for the sake of consistency for those of you who remember my comments and stories from the Duke case, to clarify, I did have an acquaintance with a drinking problem who was assaulted, which I had reported here before, but I none of my close friends ever were.

[lyle]

Frau Bluecher!

[sylvia]

You know speaking of psychologically telling micromoments, how about that forced long kiss on Tipper some years back? That was kind of odd. I think that shows some aggression as well there.

[Captain Hate]

Thanks Dave; wow what 10 years have done to both of them. He still looks like a creep; just not as fat of a creep. I left out some of his other weirdness of that campaign, including getting Naomi Wolfe to come up with the brilliant idea of putting that boring putz in earth tones. "Hey Tipper, does this make me fat?" "Yes Al, everything makes you look fat because you are fat. Now would you do something with your son before he turns into a drug addict?"

I think a lot of Al's problems stem from his inability to come to grips with his sainted father being one of the biggest bigots in the Senate.

[Clarice]

Yes, Capn-also he was raised as a crown prince and deep inside knows he's a fraud as was his dad.

DoT I can't remember where I read her fee was $540--I think it was in one of the Portland news accounts.

[Captain Hate]

You know speaking of psychologically telling micromoments, how about that forced long kiss on Tipper some years back? That was kind of odd. I think that shows some aggression as well there.

I regarded that as more being completely awkward in his own skin. The mawkish use of family sob-stories, which really should be kept in-house, at conventions was also cringe inducing. No surprise that Silky Pony employed them as well.

[Parking Lot]

(No surprise that Silky Pony employed them as well.))

It is because that side of the fence is all about person not principle.

[Rob Crawford]

If you watch some of Mr.Gores old speeches he looks really angry and very much a bully.

I'm always amused that the same fellow who bellowed "HE PLAYED ON OUR FEARS!!!!" has made a career out of environmental alarmism.

[Rob Crawford]

So, immediately following a "Things could always be worse" thread, we get an AlGore sex thread complete with..............Sylvia.

How's that saying go? "Every time I think things are bad, I say to myself, 'hey, it could be worse' and sure enough, they get worse!"

[bgates]

Al Gore: Almost President.

John Edwards: Almost Vice-President.

What does this say about the voting public?

They were immensely smarter in 2000 and 2004 than in 2008.

[narciso]

That's right up there, with "I see a light at the end of the tunnel, the bad news, it's an oncoming train"

[Old Lurker]

If you all don't stop it already with this image of naked Al on a massage table face up, I'm going to insert Helen Thomas into the script when it's time to make the movie.

[narciso]

The court also decided that those who signed petitions for Prop 8, could not remain anonymous

[Sara (Pal2Pal)]

There are "massage therapists" and there are "masseuses," whoa to the man who doesn't know the difference.

Didn't I read that the woman has her own "blue dress" in the form of a pair of black pants?

[laura]

Sara
Ewwwwwwww

[bgates]

Po, that Dr Seuss was great.

I do not like your hope and change.
I don't think patriotism's strange.

I do not like your many schemes.
I think Bill Ayers authored "Dreams".

I don't like how you bow deep down
to any despot with a crown.

I wish you'd treat the men who kill here
half as bad as those who drill here.

I do not like your voice, the sound
Or thoughts like "spread the wealth around".

I think when you say "I love earth"
It's just to expand your net worth.

If you think oil's a thing to hate,
Why fly each day to some new state?

I do not like your "let's go green",
You private-jetting libertine.

[Rich Berger]

Hey honey, is it just me or is it hot on this planet?

[Sara (Pal2Pal)]

Cheers or jeers for the Supreme Court's decision to set aside Conrad Black's fraud conviction?

[Dave (in MA)]

If you all don't stop it already with this image of naked Al on a massage table face up, I'm going to insert Helen Thomas into the script when it's time to make the movie.

OK, you just switched genres from R gross-out comedy to NC-17 horror.