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June 22, 2012


hit and run

Darnit, TM -- your birthday is after the election. I was going to sign you up.


--It’s a great way to support the President on your big day.--

That is really creepy, both in the asking and in anyone who would do it.
It'll probably work well considering the target audience.


Target audience.

"RainbowWeddingNetwork.com - the nation's premier gay and lesbian wedding gift registry."



He's named in my will and the executor is aptly named.


"Jim passed away of a heart attack shortly after the Wisconsin recall election and was a big supporter of President Obama. In lieu of flowers please donate to the Obama campaign, preferably in non sequential unmarked bills."


It's "gravy BOAT." If you're going to be this arrogant and creepy, you could at least try to sound like you know something.



Jack is Back!

Thank God for this iniative by B&M.

When we got married, we had a very good friend give us a hideous soup tureen that is hidden but in visible place when he comes to visit.

I can't wait to tell him next time that we have donated it to yhe Obama campaign.


((In lieu of flowers please donate to the Obama campaign, preferably in non sequential unmarked bills."))

... and in the name of corpse's rights, please ensure that Jim casts a vote.

Dave E.

Soon to be a major motion picture: The Wedding Bundler.



I am deathly afraid of what some of those registries contain.

Mistress Swanson matching ball gags
Black Forest lederhosen mit suspenders - size XL - black
Black Forest lederhosen mitout suspenders- size M - Black
Dr Sprocket Home Body Piercing Kit (76 pc)
Biker hat - black - 7 3/8
Mexican Wrestling Mask - leather - black (once size fits all)


Good one, Mahon. Who else noticed that? Not me.

hit and run

Well, repeating from the Faster thread...

You have no idea how many JOMer's birthdays and anniversaries I have.

The only thing I have more of than JOMer's birthdays and anniversaries is . . . free time on my hands.

Wait that's not right. There are two things I have more of than JOMer's birthdays and anniversaries: Free time on my hands and an insatiable appetite for mischief.

...matter of fact,there's a special someone who has a birthday five days from now.


Here's the lyrics to Cab Calloway's "Good Sauce from the Gravy Bowl."

I like good sauce in the gravy bowl,
Must be sauce about ninety days old!
Good sauce, good sauce from the gravy bowl!

Drink good sauce from morn til night,
Drink enough and it makes you tight.
Good sauce, good sauce from the gravy bowl!

One drink, two drinks, three drinks, four drinks, five drinks, six drinks,
Drink it, drink it,
You're bound to get high,

And when you do,
You'll feel so blue,
You'll think that you always blue,
And you gonna die!

I like good sauce from the gravy bowl,
Must be sauce about ninety days old!
Good sauce, good sauce from the gravy bowl!

And if anyone wants to order Gravy Bowls, here's a link to over 700 different models of Gravy Bowls.


((Soon to be a major motion picture: The Wedding Bundler.))

My Big Fat Obama Wedding


--Good one, Mahon. Who else noticed that? Not me.--

I noticed back on the last thread and commented on it but not before saying to myself 'gravy bowl? gravy bowl? why does that sound so stupid' about ten times.


Since Cab Calloway was a Black man and since President Obama is a Black Man do you guys think it would be racist or arrogant or creepy to give a Gravy "Boat" to President Obama instead of a Gravy "Bowl"?

I don't know the etiquette 'bout 'dat.

Take it away Cab.

Hi-dee hi-dee hi
Hi-dee hi-dee hi


--My Big Fat Obama Muslim Wedding.--

Although considering the precipice he's taking us over [Note to Barry; that's a bad thing] Big Fat Greek Wedding probably fit's best.

Hot Springs, fast and furious.

Not a Gretna Green, but a Get Me the Green.

David Christensen

Just when one thinks Obama cannot sink any lower, he somehow manages to exceed one's expectations. I just emailed the Obama campaign regarding this low-rent campaign pitch. Just type in key words, Obama Donation, and it is easy to get there.

Voldemort Delenda Est !                   Sandy Daze


Voldemort Delenda Est !


They might need another bowl, entirely;


hit and run

Dear Mr. Ignatz,

We have received word that your daughter and her on again off again boyfriend caught the bouquet and garter respectively at a recent wedding. Congrats! As you are undoubtedly aware, this could well portend wedding bells in your not so distant future. We're reaching out to you to see if you might not counsel your daughter to register with Obama 2012 instead of selfishly requesting gifts for herself. It is a patriotic act that serves her country, and it's president, me. I know that patriotism is important to you and is something you have worked hard to instill in your daughter. Don't backpeddle now.

And besides, it goes a lot further than a bowl of gravy.

Best wishes,


Hi-dee hi-dee hi

Jake! Elwood!


Don't backpeddle now.


Herring boxes, no, gravy bowls, without topses, sandals were for his Michelle.

There's many a slip 'tween the bowl and the gravitas.


H&R, funny funny :))))))))))


Dear Barack,

I was cleaning my 45 last time he came by and it accidentally went off. Looks like the status is off again.



or as Michelle would have it, My Big Non-Trans-Fat Greek Wedding

I would think the word "gravy" is profane in Michelle's world. isn't gravy, replete with salt and grease, a dietary obscenity, almost equal, on the scale of bad, to Republicans?


I s'pose as Michelle Obama might tell us:

"Gravy Bowls... Gravy boats... can't you all just keep me and Barack on the Gravy Train?

Off to feed the dogs chocolate eclairs out of their dog boats:)


For the Texans in the crowd.


TX US Senate debate tonight on Cspan at 9pm eastern. Ted Cruz vs David Dewhurst.


the president just doesn't have a lot of gravy toss.


"Gravy toss" sounds like something that would be defined in The Urban Dictionary.


Dear Valued Friend or Occupant:

Got an overdue library book?

Let your librarian know how important this election is to you—register with Obama 2012, and ask if you can make a donation in lieu of paying a fine. It’s a great way to support the President and bond with your librarian. Plus, it’s a gift that we can all appreciate—and goes a lot further than a new book.

As an extra incentive, when you make this kind of donation you and your library are eligible to join the Patriot Book Club. Then you can tell us what you've been reading, and your librarian can fill us in on the reading habits of all the library's patrons. It's like a little book club with just you, me, and Barack!


Michelle needs another vacation, send us your honeymoon money too.


Donate a kidney to Barack!

(You only need one)


Best way to stop Democrat 4 more years is to
stop electing Democrat governors. Voter fraud must be very important to Democrats. No way are they going to give it up.


poppa india

I wish they'd have tried this last February. I'd loved to have seen the reaction if they'd asked for flowers and jewelry money be sent to them instead.


Can we donate at our ATMs?


Unemployed, yet don't have a birthday, anniversary or wedding coming up? Let Barack know how important this election is to you by dropping out of the labor pool. Helping to lower the unemployment rate is a great way to support the President. Plus, it's a gift that we can all appreciate - and it goes a lot farther than selfishly trying to fill your empty gravy bowl.


They could place penny cups on the 7/11 counters next to the cash register.


From the "you can't make this stuff up" file.
You don't need forks to eat gravy.


hit and run

So, it looks like July was a very romantic month in terms of JOMer weddings. In fact, there is no other month that even comes close to the number of anniversaries in July.

I'll let Obama know. Cha ching.


"They could place penny cups on the 7/11 counters next to the cash register."

Wouldn't that upset Joe Biden?

Eric in Boise

If I had a million dollars, I'd order 100,000 cheap toasters from Target, and have them sent to the White House. The gift cards would read "What comes out of here is you in November."

Anyone? Beck? Rush? Evil Koch brother #1? Evil Koch brother #2?

Hell, if "bullied grandma" can get $500K plus, I don't see why we can't get a tenth of that. That's still 5000 cheap toasters.

Zombie could capture photos at the WH receiving dock as they arrived.


If I were Romney, I would immediately have a bunch of commemorative forks made up and distribute them any time I'm with a Latino audience.

Jack is Back!

So Hit,

When is. Mrs. JiB and. I's anniversery?

If you. know that I am totally freaked out.




hit and run

Dude. Your periods. in that comment. freaked me out.

I'm not hear to freak you out. And I won't.

East Bay Jay

You're looking a little 'fleshy' lately. How about you skip the weekly Baskin Robbins and send me $20 a week instead?

BO July 2012

Does your kid really need that Disneyland trip more than I need to keep my job? Everybody has got to pitch in now.

BO, August 2012

How many mortgages are you carrying? You'd be surprised at how much debt you can handle.

BO September 2012

Are you gonna let them buy the election? I want to fight for you but I need money. Isn't your neighbor with the expensive art collection on vacation this week?

BO October 2012

Don't miss our election eve silent auction. Whether bidding on a body part or donating a body part rest assured that I never wanted to eat that first dog back in the 60s, or the dog I ate last week.

BO November 2012


That's a real website? Creepy, tacky, tonedeaf...a ValJar trifecta.


They are announcing the verdict on the Sandusky trial. It is so creepy.

Danube of Thought

Jesus. Jimmy Carter couldn't be this crass, tasteless or stupid. What low, vile trash.


I simply cannot imagine what the people in the WH are thinking when they do stuff like this. They seem to still be under the impression that they are dealing with the Messiah.


I believe the city councils of Washington, DC, Chicago, Los Angeles, and San Francisco have agreed to tithe from parking ticket revenues to the Obama campaign.


TK, I believe that would be on the counter at a WAWA.


I wonder what it feels like to walk into a courtroom - as a free man - knowing you are about to go away for the rest of your life.


Kendu Bay, Kenya
Dear Sir,

Confidential Business Proposal

Having consulted with my colleagues and based on the information gathered from the Kenyan Chambers Of Commerce And Industry, I have the privilege to request your assistance to transfer the sum of $5,000,000,000,000.00 (five trillion United States dollars) into your accounts. The above sum resulted from an over-invoiced contract, executed, commissioned and paid for about three and one half years (3.5) ago by a foreign contractor. This action was however intentional and since then the fund has been in a suspense account at The Central Bank Of Recovery and Reinvestment.

We are now ready to transfer the fund overseas and that is where you come in. It is important to inform you that as civil servants, we are forbidden to operate a foreign account; that is why we require your assistance. The total sum will be shared as follows: 70% for us, 25% for you and 5% for local and international expenses incidental to the transfer.

The transfer is risk free on both sides. I am an accountant with the Service Employees International Union (SIEU). If you find this proposal acceptable, we shall require the following documents:

(a) your banker's name, telephone, account and fax numbers.

(b) your private telephone and fax numbers —for confidentiality and easy communication.

(c) your letter-headed paper stamped and signed.

Alternatively we will furnish you with the text of what to type into your letter-headed paper, along with a breakdown explaining, comprehensively what we require of you. The business will take us thirty (30) working days to accomplish.

Please reply urgently.

Best regards

Barack Hussein Obama II



One of my all time JOM favorites has an anniversary on July 28th.

But.... let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Janet's Birthday is June 26th.


Guilty, bail revoked.


More years guaranteed.

"Democrat Franks also claims that Skinner is “not credentialed” as a “journalist” so he shouldn’t be allowed to write criticism of the public official."

IMO, 98% of the so called credentialed journalists should be correctly identified as credentialed leftist propaganda spreaders.

This is sad. Voters are not even given a choice of voting against this freedom hating leftist.

"Sadly, the useless Republican Party leaders of McHenry County are so in love with anti-free speech Jack Franks that they won’t even try to find a Republican to run against him and purposefully torpedo any candidate that tries it."



Not just guilty, but guilty on 45 counts.


Credentialed journalist?

How much smoke can one man blow?

hit and run

Janet's Birthday is June 26th.

It's the 27th according to The List, which has been revealed as fallible in days gone by. Janet was the target of my 7:07 PM comment, "five days from now."

And let's not lose sight: July 12th is just around the corner as well.

Frau Trompeter von Krakow

"Good one, Mahon. Who else noticed that? Not me."

Hah! Are you new? No need to correct. We read Clarice here.


Hilarious, TK.

Danube of Thought

"They seem to still be under the impression that they are dealing with the Messiah."

And they think we're all under that same impression too.

Romney is out of touch?

hit and run

Janet deserves a multi-day celebration in any event.


Rick Ballard

The comparison on classless tackiness should be Bubba hanging a For Rent sign on the Lincoln Bedroom rather than anything I can remember the clueless buffoon Carter doing.

We can just chalk this Pinhead Troika move up to the fact the President's campaign is doing fine in all respects.

hit and run

Can raffling a night in the Lincoln Bedroom for a $3 non-refundable donation be far behind?


WEll they can always stoop lower;


Rick Ballard


He probably had hourly rates for the FudgePac folks yesterday evening as part of his Lean Forward outreach.


I think the white House must have momentarily forgotten H & R when they dreamed up this one

When he's done with it, the Goldman logo he created will be his second most popular confection.

Frau Trompeter von Krakow

Hear, hear, hit.

"Jesus. Jimmy Carter couldn't be this crass, tasteless or stupid. What low, vile trash."

We need a new category in Nobel prizes for this achievement, DoT. Are parents still naming their sons after the Preezy?

Captain Hate

Not just guilty, but guilty on 45 counts.

Now it's time for the creeps that covered it up to get hit with civil suits. And for the NCAA to nuke the football facilities from orbit and dump salt on the ashes.


We need a new category in Nobel prizes for this achievement

The Ig Nobel prize has this one covered. It almost fits.


Capn' Penn. Has a new meaning or 2.

Soylent Red

Every Republican should go to WalMart this weekend, pick up a cheap POS toaster over, wrap it in white and silver paper, and mail it to the White House.

You could attach a card saying, "Congratulations on your Bar Mitzvah."

Captain Hate

Are parents still naming their sons after the Preezy?

I'd like there to be at least one legitimate birth certificate with that name on it for TK to view.


'Tommy Boy' ramble incoherently,



Can raffling a night in the Lincoln Bedroom for a $3 non-refundable donation be far behind?

$15, for a night in the Lincoln Bedroom and a private showing of Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter with Barack & Michelle.


--The Ig Nobel prize has this one covered. --

I really wasn't expecting this and have nothing prepared, but it's nice to know you really like me.

Rick Ballard


Good idea. I may go the Goodwill route, though. Maybe something lighter as well - there's a lot of pressed tin pure junk out there that would make perfect gifts for the Obamas. "For your new home in Chicago" works as well.

Captain Hate

Special Ed can't help himself:

Eventually, as we know, Trayvon Martin’s killer was arrested and will now be tried by a jury of his peers. Who knows if that would have happened if Lebron and team hadn’t done what they did.

What an imbecile.

What we do know is that a group of millionaires did something that their team owners and agents would have never approved.

LOL @ Fatboy thinking an agent doesn't rubber stamp whatever his meal ticket wants to do.



I could stand-in for Pelosi these days.

Ann Stupider :)


Think what the Obama election has brought to this Great Nation.
I'd laugh if I wasn't vomiting.



Ed Schultz is PAID by the Brain Trust at NBC.
Think about that.
Those who run the crumbling joke known as NBC, actually pay the BUFFOOON. Those in charge have lost sight of what "business" is about. And they will take their golden parachutes as NBC becomes moot and silent.


Mostly SEIU, as I understand it Gus, and they have mine that vein of raw crazy, which is harder than it looks,


I'm reading it and seeing it, but still can't believe it. Did everyone's internal filter at the White House just shut off when they dreamed this up?

Seriously, a group of highly paid campaign consultants and other paid lackys came up with this gimmick. I live far to close to DC to not figure out how to get paid for my bad ideas.


Andrew Stern left SEIU under DEEP SUSPICION.
Holder has made all of that go away.


RichatUF. This IS....The Obama era. Those who work IN the WhiteHouse are ideologically fucked up and freaks, or they are star fuckers and juveniles.
Rich, they BELIEVE.


it's nice to know you really like me.

Shhh! People will talk! :)

Fox Mulder

The Truth IS out THERE.


Take any grad from a top 10 law school, or make it Harvard, if you want. Have him work a few years in non-profit law and he can even lecture on subjects like the 14th Amendment or Title IX. Have him surrender his law license and become a member of a not-very-prominent state legislature and finally become a US Senator.
Then, make him President of the US. Tell me, now, what there is that Obama has done that this hypothetical Democrat could not or would not have done.
There is nothing. How can Obama be considered the most brilliant man ever to hold the office if any other poorly qualified President would have done the same things? What, then are Obama’s unique gifts that he has used to a unique advantage in the Presidency? He complains of lack of cooperation, of bad luck, of the weight of the problems he faced when he came into office.
Every president faces that. The gifted ones bring good results. The mediocre and the unprepared, do as Obama and my hypothetical president. Nothing good and much in the way of trouble.

How is he different from Gore or Hillary or Kerry? Short answer, probably worse.


Well except for Bill being a Governor,the law professor, the law partner on his wife's side,
it's sort of been de ja vu, in the 14th Brumaire way of things. Gore had a little more experience, but that Earth in the Balance potboiler as his credential.

Dave (in MA)

Trandrea on a train.

Soylent Red

Those who work IN the WhiteHouse are ideologically fucked up and freaks, or they are star fuckers and juveniles.

My unfortunate experience having to deal semi-regularly with the the DC-Baltimore-NYC set is that you have people who are credentialed idiots, who live in a tightly held bubble of other credentialed idiots, who think they are smarter than everyone who has gone before them. If you didn't go to the right school, don't listen to the right music, don't travel the right bar circuit, and/or are over the age of 40, you don't know anything.

The average age of highly placed consultants and staffers in Versailles-on-the-Potomac has probably dropped by 20 years in the last decade. DC is a city of juiceboxers. Take the lack of experience, lack of wisdom, and lack of common sense, attach a degree from one of the TOP SCHOOLS (producers of TOP MEN), and factor in that no one has ever told these people they are anything less than special fragile flowers, and this is the brilliance that ensues.

I mean, who would ever think that the Queen of England might not like an iPod, that press conferences within hours of a covert operation might compromise exploitation, or that you should have an actual linguist (rather than Babelfish) translate "reset" into Russian?

Beasts of England

I saw the 'Obama Event Registry' ad on another site today. I believe the 'food stamps' verbiage is fake. However, I was so mind-fuzzled by the event registry itself, I may have missed the food stamp acceptance proviso.

I'll ask Kathy...

Beasts of England

The food stamp phrase is not on any of the other images I've seen in my extraordinarily exhaustive twenty minutes of research.

That being said, I do take away 8 place-settings (seven pieces per) of our 'nice' Herend dinnerware. And half of the other eight or nine 'patterns' we had, if I so choose...

How do I send these to his campaign? (Freight collect)



Had 3 dogs on the walk today and unfortunately one of them, the neighbor's sweet lab, got into the carcass of a recently deceased porcupine.

I had to work hard to keep my 2 labs away from the feast, so Bella was gnawing for about 3 minutes before I could get all 3 dogs away and back on track. I didn't know what she was eating, just that it was dead.

Pee You, from them on, the boys stunk, so as a finish I drove them down to a local waterfall/pool just near the house and they all happily frolicked in that for a quarter hour as it is a scorcher up here today---high 60's.

After drying them off I found that Bella had some short quills, about an inch long, stuck in here left shoulder area, so arriving home her owner and I got out a pair of needle-nose pliers and pulled out the 3 we spotted.

Then Steve looked inside Bella's mouth and ughh, we saw 3 in her tongue, one way back in the middle, so she is off at the Vet's now getting that dealt with;(

Bummer. Poor Bella.

The quills were about the size of the small one's on the right of the photo:


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